Scalia: Brave Defender of... Jack Bauer

[Anders Hallin]

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/LAC.20070616.BAUER16/TPStory/TPNational/Television/
The conservative jurist stuck up for Agent Bauer, arguing that fictional or not, federal agents require latitude in times of great crisis. "Jack Bauer saved Los Angeles. ... He saved hundreds of thousands of lives," Judge Scalia said. Then, recalling Season 2, where the agent's rough interrogation tactics saved California from a terrorist nuke, the Supreme Court judge etched a line in the sand.

"Are you going to convict Jack Bauer?" Judge Scalia challenged his fellow judges. "Say that criminal law is against him? 'You have the right to a jury trial?' Is any jury going to convict Jack Bauer? I don't think so.

"So the question is really whether we believe in these absolutes. And ought we believe in these absolutes."

Good thing the defenders of the constitution deals with the reality-based community, I guess?

[Andrew Mayer]

Somebody also pointed out that Scalia had delivered a lone opinion earlier this year that we should always ignore international courts when determining law.

So fictional characters > international judges.

[AaronSofaer]

In the same article:

"If civil rights are to be curtailed during wartime, it must be done openly and democratically, as the Constitution requires, rather than by silent erosion through an opinion of this court," he dissented in a 2004 decision. The judicial majority ruled that a presidential order meant that an American "enemy combatant" wasn't entitled to challenge the conditions of his detention, which happened to be aboard a naval brig.


Every judge has some crazy and some not-so-crazy in him. I happen to prefer Scalia to some of the other judges on the court.

[ElGuapo]

That actually sounds like a hypothetical Souter would use.

[tromik]

Who was it that said that 24's high ratings meant the American public was OK with torture? Does that also mean that Americans are OK with rape, since gonzo-POV-rape-porn is so popular?

[Hanzii]

Who was it that said that 24's high ratings meant the American public was OK with torture? Does that also mean that Americans are OK with rape, since gonzo-POV-rape-porn is so popular?

As popular as 24?

Man I thought that eventually every American show and trend drizzled down to us... but I missed that one.

[BlueJackalope]

Who was it that said that 24's high ratings meant the American public was OK with torture? Does that also mean that Americans are OK with rape, since gonzo-POV-rape-porn is so popular?

Who's POV tromik?

[Lizard_King]

As popular as 24?

Man I thought that eventually every American show and trend drizzled down to us... but I missed that one.

It's a little known fact that the TiVO was invented precisely so no American family would miss their daily dose of poorly scheduled (BUT DEMANDED) gonzo-POV-rape porn. Netflix, too, except the category is disguised as "Sundance Picks".

[Lum]

Methinks someone is projecting.

[Lizard_King]

Methinks someone is projecting.
Better point that pronoun more precisely, mister.

[Glenn]

I happen to prefer Scalia to some of the other judges on the court.Clarence Thomas isn't plural just because it ends with an "s".

That was some right decent poetic sentiment that Scalia voiced, but considering how it squares* with his dissent in Ramdan vs. Rumsfeld, that dago guinea wop greaseball goombah can take said sentiment and shove it right up his ass. I'm sure Paine and Franklin would be Best Friends Forever with Mr. Strict Constructionalist.

*read "squares" as "doesn't square at all"

[Aleck]

You know, there's a part of me that really thinks Scalia (who I've met twice and is impressively brilliant, for those who haven't met him) is just trying desperately to amuse himself and see just how nutty he can go and still have people take him seriously.

I mean, that's got to be it... Right?

[tromik]

As popular as 24?
I'm willing to bet it's actually more popular.

[tromik]

Who's POV tromik?
Oh man, when you ask it like that, I'm afraid your innocent mind can't even handle the answer. Oh well. POV = point of view.

[tromik]

Methinks someone is projecting.
Bah, I hate the stuff. Gonzo/POV I mean.

[Unicorn McGriddle]

Oh man, when you ask it like that, I'm afraid your innocent mind can't even handle the answer. Oh well. POV = point of view.

No, he's asking if it's the rapist's point of view, or the victim's.

[tromik]

No, he's asking if it's the rapist's point of view, or the victim's.
Oh, whose POV. I get it now. I thought that he thought that was the guy's name.

It's the rapist's point of view. Gay porn may differ.

You know, they call it "point-of-view," but I don't have a pair of eyes between my junk and my belly button. Funny that.

[BlueJackalope]

Oh, whose POV. I get it now. I thought that he thought that was the guy's name.

It's the rapist's point of view. Gay porn may differ.

You know, they call it "point-of-view," but I don't have a pair of eyes between my junk and my belly button. Funny that.

And this "Whose" fellow...he can rape* with one hand holding a camera?

*rape well I mean.

[Mordrak]

Yeah. I've seen my fair share of porn and have not come across this rape porn you're talking about. This shit is mainstream?

On a related-to-the-thread-note, do you guys think these films like Captivity are increasing the bar for what is torture? They talk about Jack Bauer, but I could see some person saying, "What? They pretend to drown someone? That shit isn't torture, you should see what they do to people in Hostel. That's torture."

[Lizard_King]

Yeah. I've seen my fair share of porn and have not come across this rape porn you're talking about. This shit is mainstream?

On a related-to-the-thread-note, do you guys think these films like Captivity are increasing the bar for what is torture? They talk about Jack Bauer, but I could see some person saying, "What? They pretend to drown someone? That shit isn't torture, you should see what they do to people in Hostel. That's torture."

Which is why upon the closing of Guantanamo prison, we must turn it into a tourist site/resort where instead of props and boring narratives the tourists themselves are briefly tortured. Even POW simulated imprisonment within the context of military training is enough to convince one that you would never want to be in those shoes, I'm certain the Gitmo version would be even more spectacular.

[tromik]

Yeah. I've seen my fair share of porn and have not come across this rape porn you're talking about. This shit is mainstream?
I wouldn't call it mainstream as the bigger studioes don't really so it yet.

[Lizard_King]

You Canadians are kinky. Destroying the moral fiber of your neighbors, one post at a time...I think it's high time we export you some bible thumpers to straighten you out.

[Drastic]

This thread contains the worst viral marketing I've ever seen. They need a new ad agency.

[unbongwah]

There have been a couple of Washington Post articles on the overlap between 24 and real life:

Calling On Hollywood's Terrorism 'Experts' (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/06/23/AR2006062301804.html)
Jack Bauer of '24,' The Interrogator's Marquee de Sade? (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/02/19/AR2007021901099.html)

[Lizard_King]

This thread contains the worst viral marketing I've ever seen. They need a new ad agency.
Oh, I don't know, I have no doubt that gonzo rape pov porn will experience a sudden boom as a result of qt3 crossovers. And, as you know, as qt3 goes, so goes the world.

[MikeSofaer]

"Marquee do Sade" is possibly the best pun ever.

[ElGuapo]

Only on the internet does the discussion start with oral arguments of the Supreme Court and end with the intricacies of gonzo POV rape porn.

[Drastic]

Oh, I don't know, I have no doubt that gonzo rape pov porn will experience a sudden boom as a result of qt3 crossovers. And, as you know, as qt3 goes, so goes the world.
I guess I'm probably not the target market demographic. I mean, I like the Muppets just fine, but surely there are more interesting characters for the POV.

[tromik]

"Marquee do Sade" is possibly the best pun ever.
That's AndersH's nickname.

[Lizard_King]

I guess I'm probably not the target market demographic. I mean, I like the Muppets just fine, but surely there are more interesting characters for the POV.
Good point, and I think it really highlights the important point of this thread: tromik is fucked up.

[Ed Solomon]

I think we've found the limits to the "everything is better staring the Muppets" theory.

Though refilming Dune with an all Muppet cast is still a brilliant idea.

"Put your hand in the box! In the box! Hiiiiiiiyah!" (http://www.quartertothree.com/game-talk/showpost.php?p=618274&postcount=10)

[Unicorn McGriddle]

Even POW simulated imprisonment within the context of military training is enough to convince one that you would never want to be in those shoes, I'm certain the Gitmo version would be even more spectacular.

I don't think people can get the full impact in anything less than a few years. Fortunately, there are plenty of new prisons.

[Lizard_King]

I don't think people can get the full impact in anything less than a few years. Fortunately, there are plenty of new prisons.
I don't want to actually torture people, I want to give them a torture petting zoo of sorts. The same way some kids are hesitant about ordering a burger after meeting Daisy the cow? That's the idea, except with a much easier moral call.

And amazing emotional and physical suffering can be inflicted in very short order. People in the military are often impacted heavily by SERE, and that's like 48 hours of real, actual deprivation and significantly less actual incarceration and restrained abuse, usually after already enduring mountains of bullshit and harassment within the military as a part of daily life.

Hell, just hearing an actual interrogator explain the completely "soft" methodologies used w/i geneva by all upstanding nations for POW's is chilling.