Bachelor Party - The fallout

[Brendan]

So I'm back. My wife planned a romantic weekend away for my birthday starting the Saturday morning so I'm home earlier than I was planning to be and more sober.

I've taken three things away from this evening.

1. The forehead dildo was a rousing success. The groom thought it was awesome, the other guests thought it was awesome ant the strippers went nuts, lavishing the groom and his headgear with all sorts of attention. From now on the forehead dildo will be my trademark.

2. Since when were all the cute flirtatious South African strippers replaced by brash, annoying East European's? One of the things I really enjoy about strip clubs is the foreplay. That period when you are sounding out and flirting with the strippers as they come around to your table. The East Europeans were all pushy, all trying to get you to get the private lap dances and one even thought she could drag me to the bar and get me to buy her a drink. No thanks. The one local girl who danced for us was awesome.

3. People who tag along but refuse to put money in for dances, then get drunk and grope the strippers suck. The one guy from work who nobody liked tagged along anyway, got drunk, groped the strippers and just generally acted like a lecherous arsehole eventually chasing all the girls away. I understand I can't claim the moral high ground after paying a woman for mild sexual favours but there iis certain acceptable behaviour. Half of the party wanted to kick the shit out of him and I seriously stopped enjoying myself because I had to babysit the guy.

But through all of this the bachelor was well taken care off and he had an awesome time. When I left he was lying back on a leather couch with the biggest, dumbest grin on his face,a drink in his hand and a dildo on his forehead.

For the next bachelor party I plan everyone is going to have to give me R200 bucks up front for dances. No excuses. If they can't afford it then fuck them, they shouldn't be coming out then. Everyone who goes has to be vetted by someone I know. No assholes. If the buddy you brought along starts causing shit you are responsible for setting them straight or taking them home. I'll also go to the club where I know there are more local girls. Those East Europeans completely ruin the fantasy that makes strip clubs work for me.

Oh, and the reason I am posting a new thread is because my last thread was hijacked by some puritan fuck.

[Flowers]

I'm really glad the dildo worked out.

[Enidigm]

I'm really glad the dildo worked out.

Really, how often do you get to say that?

[Nick Walter]

Really, how often do you get to say that?

Some of us are luckier than others.

[JoshV]

I think the world would be a better place with more forehead dildo.

[Tyjenks]

Glad it was fun. I want another bachelor party now. The strip club I went to has gone to shit. Well, that was almost 11 years ago. Mmmm, wasting money while drunk is fun.

[Slainte Mhath]

Glad you (and the bachelor) were able to have a good time. Personally, I'd have thought the forehead dildo was going overboard, but it sounds like it worked out for you guys, so kudos.

[RickH]

It was just crazy enough to work.

[dannimal]

Apply directly to the forehead.

[Lunch of Kong]

the strippers went nuts, lavishing the groom and his headgear with all sorts of attention. From now on the forehead dildo will be my trademark.

My buddy says they've done the Forehead Dildo™ thing twice. They had version 1.0 the first time, and built a version 1.1 for the next party after the feedback from the 1.0.

Apparently, only one stripper would go down on the 1.0 version, because the rest said they didn't nkow where it had been. So for 1.1, they added condoms on a roller dispenser on the back of the hat. They took a toilet paper dispenser, cut it down, and put condoms on it in a roll fashion. But the condoms didn't roll very well and kept falling out, so they added a little velcro strap around it to hold them on.

1.1 was a bigger hit than 1.0, and it made the 1.0 guy jealous. They strapped it to the very top of his head like a beanie so that he couldn't see what was going on. Everyone around him was yelling "OH SHIT! AWESOME!" and he was yelling "GET ME A MIRROR!!!" So one of the strippers pulled out a compact that had a tiny mirror and he held it up to try to see what the chick on his head was doing.

My buddy says it was awesome.

[Alan Dunkin]

More and more eastern Europeans are getting imported to the states for the various mafias and other organized crime groups because the trade is on the up-and-up; practically white slavery, with hordes of people picked up off of small-town eastern bloc streets and brought wholesale in shipping crates to the US. Ever see the second season of The Wire?

Of course your strippers may not have been street tramps kidnapped from their poor slavic towns, but it's a possibility.

Your idiot office worker should have had his ass kicked out on the street.

--- Alan

[Lunch of Kong]

*comment deleted cuz i refuse to hijack this thread*

[Shadarr]

Your idiot office worker should have had his ass kicked out on the street.
Yeah, couldn't you have slipped the bouncer a twenty to bounce him?

[jpinard]

Do they actually have sex with the dildo on hat thing?

[Old Man Gravy]

Yeah, and it's totally awesome, jp.

You get all the benefit of the Smell of Rectum right in your face, without having to be distracted by any annoying pleasurable sensations since they're screwing a dildo instead of touching any part of you.

[jpinard]

Sorry, I don't know what is supposed/does happen at these kinds of things.

[Old Man Gravy]

Actually, I don't either, pal. I'm just speculating.

[Brendan]

Do they actually have sex with the dildo on hat thing?

Blowjobs, tittie fucking and vaginal rubbing but no actual penetration.

[Zylon]

From now on the forehead dildo will be my trademark.
It's good to have realistic aspirations in life.

[Slainte Mhath]

More and more eastern Europeans are getting imported to the states for the various mafias and other organized crime groups...


Maybe, but lots of them are coming the good old fashioned way as well. There's a growing population of them where I live now, mostly doing hourly pay jobs. There's also a big influx of them to the Gatlinburg area of all places. Take your family on vacation there and you'll see them waiting tables in the restaraunts, cleaning hotel rooms and driving the cabs and busses. It's kinda of disorienting, as it used to be all native Tennesse people with the hard to understand mountain accents, now it's Eastern Europeans with their hard to understand (but sexy as hell) accents. I've seen them in other vacation destinations where hourly jobs are in abundance as well.

[Rimbo]

Apply directly to the forehead.

for teh win!

p.s. great job, Brendan!