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View Full Version : The Whiplash Topic Shift Game


Jason McCullough
09-27-2006, 08:07 PM
Seeing how this one (http://www.quartertothree.com/game-talk/showthread.php?p=756874) is eventually going to cover every point of partisan disagreement for the last one hundred years, we should just make a game of it.

Here's the format:

* You respond to the last post.
* The goal is to come up with the strangest topic shift that you can plausible relate to the last post.
* You have to disagree with the last post.

For example:

* Person 1: I think homeless people should be ground up for hamburger. They're everywhere. This is the Democrat's fault, they block all action at cleaning them up.
* Person 2: No, the homeless street people problem is Reagan's fault. He dismantled the nationwide system of state mental health care facilities and didn't replace it with local facilities like he promised.
* Person 3: Mental health care is not a national responsibility. Reagan did the correct thing in giving a block grant of money to the states to deal with it. It's not his fault they all screwed it up. Block grants are a great way to return power to the states.
* Person 4: The threat of revoking block grants is what keeps states from scaling back the war on drugs. They do no such thing. Block grants suck.
* Person 5: We should be meaner about threatening to revoke block grants, after all that's the only thing stopping the Medelin drug cartel from invading Texas.
* Person 6: Who could blame them, after the mass butchery Reagan ran in the Columbian civil wars of the 1980s?

We can probably do better than homeless people to the columbian civil war in 6 posts; this is just an example.

Bonus points if you can tie together a bunch of previous posts.

Jason McCullough
09-27-2006, 08:08 PM
I'll start:

Boy, it sure is hot outside! The Republicans suck for blocking dealing with global warming.

SlyFrog
09-27-2006, 08:10 PM
I'll start:

Boy, it sure is hot outside! The Republicans suck for blocking dealing with global warming.

You suck dick, and that's wrong.

Jason McCullough
09-27-2006, 08:14 PM
Bzzt! The correct format would be:

Actually, it's Bill Clinton's fault for not passing a carbon trading system. That's because he was tied down by the Monica scandal. Who sucks dick, like you.

Zarathustra
09-27-2006, 08:30 PM
Monica's dress was spot on.

Lum
09-27-2006, 08:34 PM
It's because of views like yours that our troops are dying in Iraq for no reason.

Supersport
09-27-2006, 08:53 PM
no Lum...

Troops are dying in Iraq due to Reagan and George Bush Sr. supplying CIA training and military weapons to the foreign fighters (aka Bin Laden) during the Russian's occupation of Afghanistan.

Alan Au
09-27-2006, 08:57 PM
Speaking of segues...

- Alan

Bill Dungsroman
09-27-2006, 09:06 PM
Alan's rectum is a trap.

XPav
09-27-2006, 09:19 PM
Why should the government be deciding Alan's rectum is a trap or not? Alan's rectum is a global problem that should be addressed by the UN.

Linoleum
09-27-2006, 09:33 PM
Boutros Boutros-Ghali would just love to get back into public office through the backdoor, if you know what I mean.

Sidd_Budd
09-27-2006, 09:40 PM
I'm afraid Alan will suffer from constipation for a while if we involve the ineffectual UN, which features third-world countries posturing as if they matter to realpolitik agendas.

The solution to this problem is to relax restrictions on firearms. UN members would be less likely to delay policies with picayune concerns if there was a reasonable chance their opponent would respond with lethal force. The right to use lethal force is supported by Scripture.

shift6
09-27-2006, 09:42 PM
Guns don't kill people in Switzerland, Sidd_Budd. Clearly Geneva holds the key.

Unicorn McGriddle
09-27-2006, 11:13 PM
I knew a girl named Geneva once, and she fucked and sucked everyone she knew but me. Why the fuck didn't my school provide me with free condoms?

rhinohelix
09-28-2006, 12:41 AM
Because Clinton was too busy stocking the Lincoln Bedroom for the next visitor?

or,

Because Big Oil and Halliburton was stockpiling for the invasion of Iraq?

drewl
09-28-2006, 05:02 AM
But if we let gays marry, Jeebus won't come and save us from the rapture.

Midnight Son
09-28-2006, 07:07 AM
I like Hispanic chicks. So leave the border open!

(Plus, Carlos Santana is GAWD!)

Mister Widget
09-28-2006, 07:45 AM
Democrats want open borders so they can get more illegal immigrants to vote for them, just like they get convicted felons to vote for them. Remember, Republicans aren't in favor of convicted felons like Willie Horton voting, because Republicans are tough on crime.

extarbags
09-28-2006, 07:55 AM
No, Republicans are lenient on crime--white collar crime, that is, which often causes far more societal harm. Which sucks dick. Like you.

snowcrash22
09-28-2006, 08:09 AM
No, Republicans are lenient on crime

No, Republicans are trying to protect good American people from being tried as war criminals in the international courts. So while they may appear to be lenient on war crimes, that doesn't change the fact that we have an inalienable right to protect ourselves from those who wish to impose terror upon our populace.

BennyProfane
09-28-2006, 09:21 AM
No, Republicans are trying to protect good American people from being tried as war criminals in the international courts. So while they may appear to be lenient on war crimes, that doesn't change the fact that we have an inalienable right to protect ourselves from those who wish to impose terror upon our populace.

Actually, Republicans are trying to COMMIT war crimes in international theatres, by kidnapping foreign nationals and secreting them in prisons where they aren't scrutinized by any legal authority, then brutalizing them (but not torturing them, since according to the Bush administration "its only torture if you make them watch Jessica Simpson try to act in The Dukes of Hazzard" for information they never had in the first place, and then drop them off in the middle of the night in Outer Bumfuck once you figure out they really aren't terrorists.

But first they have to redefine war crimes so that anything the US does doesn't qualify...

Jason McCullough
09-29-2006, 08:36 AM
I think Sidd is winning.