That'll mess 'em up real good...

[jeffd]

So my Aunt calls her daughter, my cousin. Her 7-year old son answers the phone in tears, bawling about how bunny is gone (he and his little sister have had a pet rabbit for the past while). So my aunt gets my cousin on the phone and asks wtf happened. Cous' explains she got rid of the bunny because the kids "...weren't giving it enough hugs and kisses."

WTF

Seriously that's the kind of shit they're going to be talking to a pshrink about in twenty years. "Why are you a dysfunctional clingy retard?" will be the question.

[Rywill]

Let us know how it goes.

[jeffd]

In case I wasn't clear - this was entirely posted as just a mind-boggling wtf type thing. I should have left off the bloggy stuff at the end. Which I'll now delete!

[mono]

My sister had a rabbit when she was a little kid. Poor damn thing sat in its dark cage in the basement getting zero attention for months on end. Finally gave it away to folks with a big parcel of land for the rabbit to run around on. Of course my sister was in tears. Kids.

[Backov]

Ya, kids aren't exactly the greatest with pets like rabbits. They're all cool for a while, then they get neglected and/or abused.

A couple friends of ours had bunnies, and some good friends kid asked for them because she'd love them good... So, the kind hearted folks give the bunnies to her.

A few months later, they notice that the bunny cage is outside their window (where it had been kept) and squashed flat - with the bunny corpses still inside it. The kids had been using it as a stepstool inside and out of their bedroom window and had just crushed the bunnies flat.

[Steve Canyon]

We got peeps for Easter one year when I was like 7 or 8. We were a family of seven kids all under the age of 10. Actually we might not have been seven strong that early.

Those poor peeps. Clearly my parents didn't expect the level of abuse we heaped upon those baby chicks. We were not trying to kill the peeps. But we did toss them down the steps to make 'em fly. More damaging were the peep races, with people trying to propel their peep across the finish line while tripping up all the competing peeps. It was bad.

Predictably there were tears as each peep expired. We burried them out back with little popsicle tombstones. We never got peeps again for Easter, only chocolate bunnies.

[Toddy]

Okay, that's just sick. I know kids are cruel, blah, blah, blah, but you need to be a preteen Charlie Manson to do something as awful as this.

Referring to the bunny cage story, not the peeps one. Although the peeps one is creepy, too. I don't understand why parents would give kids pets like this.

[Steve Canyon]

Let us know how it goes.

I find this an incredibly droll response. Mabye it's becasue it's the second post and the original post has been edited, so I can no longer see the context. But must say I have gotten quite a big kick out of reading this response, but I can't really say why.

[Steve Canyon]

I don't understand why parents would give kids pets like this.

Go to the pet store and look at the prices. I think peeps are like fifty cent for a dozen. Who knows how cheap they were in the 70s. If you are a parent you think, how inexpensive! Not: those poor things will never hold up.

[Rimbo]

the peeps in the pet store are cheap because they are being sold as feed for the other pets in the store

[Toddy]

Actually, I've never seen them on sale in a pet store in Canada. Don't remember ever seeing them in a pet store in Canada. And I wouldn't think "How inexpensive!" if I did. I'd think "How fucking stupid and disgusting," because I'd know that the little guys were being sold to be pretty much immediately killed by half-wits.

Not to go all PETA on everyone, but I don't know why provinces and states would ever allow animals to be sold like this.

[Steve Canyon]

the peeps in the pet store are cheap because they are being sold as feed for the other pets in the store

As opposed to what? Is there some super peep I don't know about that costs more but is worth it? What?

[Steve Canyon]

Actually, I've never seen them on sale in a pet store in Canada. Don't remember ever seeing them in a pet store in Canada. And I wouldn't think "How inexpensive!" if I did. I'd think "How fucking stupid and disgusting," because I'd know that the little guys were being sold to be pretty much immediately killed by half-wits.

Not to go all PETA on everyone, but I don't know why provinces and states would ever allow animals to be sold like this.

This is only because you read all Internet message boards and are an informed procurer of peeps, my friend. And possibly because you live in Canada, a bastion of peep protection.

If you ever get some pussy and are blessed with a half-wit, that half-wit and his mother can rest assured that you will only allow wise pet purchases.

[greywind]

Am I the only one wondering what the hell kind of animal a "peep" is? A google image search comes up with all kinds of nasty images (should have left safe search on). If it's a baby chicken, isn't it called a Tom?

ian

[Damien Falgoust]

I assume he isn't talking about these guys:

http://www.rhino.com/fun/trunk/peeps/images/STPeepers.jpg

[Raife]

Am I the only one wondering what the hell kind of animal a "peep" is? A google image search comes up with all kinds of nasty images (should have left safe search on). If it's a baby chicken, isn't it called a Tom?

This is a Peep: http://www.morsa.net/peep-s.jpg

On the subject of cruelty to Peeps, note this research study (http://www.peepresearch.org/).

If Tim is calling actual baby chickens peeps, it's either because he is a mutant (with lousy powers), or he likes to eat them on Easter.

[Peter Frazier]

After the neighbour's dog ripped our guinea pig cage apart and killed the two guineas, we tidied up the cage and told the kids that the guinea pigs got bored of the cage and went off 'exploring'. Now, whenever a pet dies and they are unaware of it, it conveniently joins the exploration party, valiantly led by Snowball and Lucky. If you see two Guinea Pigs and three goldfish in pith helmets and safari gear scouting your yard, let them know that the kids still talk about their adventure.

[Enidigm]

So my sister's crazy dog, which she abandoned upon reaching college - because it was given to her by her boyfriend and omg that guy is, like, disgusting now - goes crazy when she gets together with it again, whilst bringing along her pet rabbits that are expecting a litter. Her dog breaks loose, grabs mr. rabbit by the head, and doggishly rips it off. So everyone is broken up. She hides the mother and the babies in the laundry room, with a KEEP DOOR CLOSED sign.

Christmas dinner, on Christmas day. The dog gets into laundry room. Rips the heads off of every living thing - except one baby that somehow escaped the rabbit holocaust. So guess who just got a baby rabbit for Christmas?

Now i take this rabbit back with me, and he's quite a little darling. I try to teach him, as best i can, to use the cat litter, since at that time i'm stuck in an apartment. He likes sleeping on a map at the foot of the bathroom door. I play with him, pet him, and he's more or less completely tame, insofar as you can tame a rabbit.

Now i'm used to little dogs sleeping in my bed, so i figure why not teach the rabbit to sleep up there with me? He doesn't have anyone else, right? I feel rather fatherly toward him, considering that he was the only survivor of his little rabbit family. So i make a pillow starcase and coax the little rascal a step at at time "here you go, buddy!". Finally he reaches the bed.

And immediately, on top of me, without hesitation, urinates right on the bedspread.

And from that moment on the only place he would go was on top of the bed or my couch. The litter box was instantly forgotten.

I one particually dreadful memory of being so sleep deprived from the combination of his bunny feet clawing at the bathroom door to get out and the feces and urine that inevitable follows his escape, that one night i said "fuck it", piled EVERY single blanket i had on me, crossed my fingers - and it still soaked all the way through. So i slept on the floor with a vacuum cleaner for a pillow. And though i'm not certain, i still kind of think he went to bathroom on my head as i slept.

But what could i do, he was my sister's last remaining rabbit?

Well, at this point, he gets to sleep in the rabbit cage from now on.

A month or so later, i took him back, and told my family they had to find him another home. Eventually they gave him to the neighbor's with some young kids. Though i'm not certain, i think the kids didn't know how to care for a rabbit, because i was told it died less then a month later from "causes unknown".

[MikeSofaer]

Finally gave it away to folks with a big parcel of land for the rabbit to run around on.
Never gets old.

[beecubed]

this is why parakeets are the ultimate kid pet. there are basically only, like, 5 different parakeets in the world. so, when one dies, you just replace it with one that looks the same. kids are none the wiser.

i like the exploring story, though.

[Steve Canyon]

Am I the only one wondering what the hell kind of animal a "peep" is? A google image search comes up with all kinds of nasty images (should have left safe search on). If it's a baby chicken, isn't it called a Tom?

ian

These are fuzzy little yellow balls that look like marshmellow candy: peeps. What in the world is a Tom? Maybe you call a turkey a tom, but not a cute little baby chicken. It's a peep.

[Steve Canyon]

If Tim is calling actual baby chickens peeps, it's either because he is a mutant (with lousy powers), or he likes to eat them on Easter.

Peeps are best eaten a little stale. I like to leave mine out to harden for a day or two, but not too long or they become too hard.

[Steve Canyon]

But what could i do, he was my sister's last remaining rabbit?

Watch Basic Instinct. I wonder if they'll do the same in the upcoming sequel?

[Hanzii]

If you see two Guinea Pigs and three goldfish in pith helmets and safari gear scouting your yard, let them know that the kids still talk about their adventure.

I loved the visuals that evoked, it made me rethink my policy of not lying to our kids... yours seems much more fun.

The other day a bird had crashed into our living room window. My wife asked me in english to remove the corpse (english is our 'parents secret language' - we'll have to take up german again, when the oldest start english in the 4th grade...). Me? I took the four year old outside and said, look at the nice dead bird. Then we talked a bit about why birds died and why she shouldn't touch dead birds ('I know dad! They told us in kindergarden').
We have a large aquarium, trying to hide/lie about every corpse removal would be hard work...

[Theodore Rex DX]

Um. I neglected my pet axolotl pretty badly but he lived *forever*. I eventually gave it away.
I loved frogs when I was a kid. Me and my uncle caught a bunch of tree frogs and put them in a box for me to take home on the plane. A couple died (shock of displacement?) and I quickly found out that the dead ones were more fun than the live ones - you could stick them to windows and they stayed there. I think my folks took them off me because they probably deemed playing with dead animals to be a trifle unhealthy.
When I was eleven or twelve my granddad took me out to kill a sheep. I said I would do it - didn't think it was right to eat it if I couldn't stand to kill it myself. I cut a little way into the throat but just drew blood - didn't have the nerve to go further. My granddad took over and cut a nice big hole as I held the blood bucket. There is a hell of a lot of blood in a sheep throat. It turns to jelly real quick too.
My mother was furious.

[Lunch of Kong]

Sacrificing sheep on the street corner is a yearly ritual in many countries with an Islmaic majority. Let me tell you, sheep are just bags of shit and blood. One guy threatened to give me a beating if I wouldn't stop asking about the post-mortem defecation of his holy sacrifice.

[Rimbo]

what the hell's wrong with levelling with the kid? "the guinea pigs got their heads ripped off by a dog"

dogs do that... that's why dogs are cool and guinea pigs are lameass.

my kid, at 15 months, likes big dogs. his best friend is a 14 yr old arthritic doberman named Damian the size of a largish german shepherd. Damian is VERY large for his breed...

[Supertanker]

Never gets old.

It was only a few years ago I finally convinced my wife her mom had not sent their dog "to live on a farm."

[Theodore Rex DX]

It was only a few years ago I finally convinced my wife her mom had not sent their dog "to live on a farm."

It does happen, though. My parents did exactly that when they couldn't cope with my newborn sister and an insanely rambunctious lab - so they sent the dog to a farm. It tried to escape and cut itself open on a piece of wire sticking out of the fence.

[Wholly Schmidt]

It does happen, though. My parents did exactly that when they couldn't cope with my newborn sister and an insanely rambunctious lab -
This sentence had so much potential at this point.

[Hanzii]

It does happen, though. My parents did exactly that when they couldn't cope with my newborn sister

This is were it had me going WTF... but then it got boring.

[Hawkeye Fierce]

This thread makes me cringe, but it does make me feel better about accidently killing my guinea pig when I was 5 or 6. Dropped him at the top of the stairs. Oops.

Around that same time we got a little fishbowl and two goldfish. I named them Bert and Ernie. I don't know if we weren't feeding them right or what, but Bert ate Ernie. Just chomped on him til he died and nibbled at the floating corpse. So we got a third goldfish, and I named him Ernie 2. Bert proceeded to eat Ernie 2 in the same manner. Enter Ernie 3. Ernie 3 must have gone to the same goldfish school as Bert, because he turned the tables and ate Bert. Enter Bert 2. Bert 2 and Ernie 3 managed to live together in harmony for a bit until our dog Rags knocked over the fishbowl when no one was around and ate them both. That's the last time I ever owned fish.

[Hanzii]

Goldfish, piranhas - who can see the diffrence...

[balut]

I had a cousin who owned a large fishtank, full of about 10-12 tropical fish. Then he got a piranha, threw it into gen pop, and didn't put food in the tank for a couple days. By day 3, it was the piranha and 4 fish. By day 6, it was the piranha and no one else, although the piranha's tail and dorsal fin were looking a bit torn up - seems the last few fish had some fight in them. I think he planned on getting either a few more piranhas or one of those small sharks to put into the tank. Dunno what ever happened with that.

[Slothrop]

Watch Basic Instinct. I wonder if they'll do the same in the upcoming sequel?
Fatal Attraction is the movie you're thinking of.

My little sister had a gerbil, and it loved to cruise around in its exercise ball- a clear plastic ball with air vents about the size of a bowling ball. I was playing with him one day, and picked up the ball to get a good look at him. Then something else got my attention, and I set his ball down to go do something else. About 10 seconds later there was a loud crack. I had absentmindedly set the ball on the counter instead of the floor. The counter was about four feet high, and he'd plummeted to a hardwood floor. He was lying very still in the ball, mouth open, eyes closed. Of course I thought I had killed him, but he came around in a few seconds. He was merely stunned, and lived to roll another day!

My parents bought us a miniature poodle, then several years later got a basset hound. One day at dinner time, the poodle got too close to the basset's bowl and the basset went snap! Whether she had meant to do it or not, the basset ripped out the poodle's eyeball. De-osculated, it's called. The eyeball was still attached by the optic nerve and other tissues, so my dad cut it off and sewed the eyesocket shut. The poodle lived many years after that and didn't seem to mind the loss.

[Ben Sones]

My grandparents used to have a big tomcat who liked to nap on the front porch, and their neighbors had a wiener dog that used to come over and run in circles around the cat, barking incessantly, and nipping at him. The cat would always just sit there and ignore the dog, until one day when he apparently decided that enough was enough and killed the dog, dead.

[Steve Canyon]

My grandparents used to have a big tomcat who liked to nap on the front porch, and their neighbors had a wiener dog that used to come over and run in circles around the cat, barking incessantly, and nipping at him. The cat would always just sit there and ignore the dog, until one day when he apparently decided that enough was enough and killed the dog, dead.

Big mallet? Stick of dynomite? Drop a safe on the wiener's head?

[Steve Canyon]

Fatal Attraction is the movie you're thinking of.


Yes, that's right!

That eyeball scene you speak of is from Hostel, except there is no Grandpa to sew it shut. Talk about home remedies!

[Stroker Ace]

My 80 year old grandfather opens my dad's front door. Oscar the 10-year old miniature dachshund charges out the door and is instantly abducted by the chocolate lab from down the street. He picked him up in his mouth, ran down the street, and chewed a little.

Oscar had some stitches and scars, spent a week or so with an ACE bandage wrapped around his midsection. My grandfather felt bad, and Oscar doesn't trust dogs over 10 pounds now, but he's turning 13 in May.

Turns out the chocolate lab was a bit of a bastard all around, I dunno if they ever got rid of him. I think he belonged to some ineffectual grandparents who kept him around "for the kids" and then let him run wild around the neighborhood 24/7.

[soondifferent]

Yes, that's right!

That eyeball scene you speak of is from Hostel, except there is no Grandpa to sew it shut. Talk about home remedies!

For the do it yourself types:

http://www.slate.com/id/2137959/

[Timemaster Tim]

If you see two Guinea Pigs and three goldfish in pith helmets and safari gear scouting your yard, let them know that the kids still talk about their adventure.

That sounds like an episode of Hammy Hamster. Parents giving pets to kids need to be aware that the kids are likely not going to meet the requriements of care and attention needed by the pets.

[Slothrop]

For the do it yourself types:

http://www.slate.com/id/2137959/
so now I know he could have popped it back in! Although the eyeball was probably pretty torn up, having been ripped out by a dog's fangs rather than poked out with a finger. X^P (<-barfy face)

[Jason McCullough]

I have no stories for this thread. You fuckers. :(

[Toddy]

This is only because you read all Internet message boards and are an informed procurer of peeps, my friend. And possibly because you live in Canada, a bastion of peep protection.

If you ever get some pussy and are blessed with a half-wit, that half-wit and his mother can rest assured that you will only allow wise pet purchases.

Oooh. Insults over manliness! Meet you at three o'clock beside the jungle gym!

But hey, if you really think it's smart to let little kids slaughter small animals just because pet stores sell them cheap, keep on truckin', big guy. Just don't bring your clan to my school district, 'kay?

[Steve Canyon]

Oooh. Insults over manliness! Meet you at three o'clock beside the jungle gym!

But hey, if you really think it's smart to let little kids slaughter small animals just because pet stores sell them cheap, keep on truckin', big guy. Just don't bring your clan to my school district, 'kay?

Toddy is a much better name for you. Good luck on that personality thing!

[shift6]

Jesus. When did QT3 become LiveJournal?

[Leah C]

Jesus. When did QT3 become LiveJournal?

It's not livejournal 'til people start posting boobs and song lyrics.

[Steve Canyon]

(.)(.) <- text boobs.

[russellmz00]

( . Y . ) <--- superior text boobs

[Steve Canyon]

I am amused.

[JM]

Oooh. Insults over manliness! Meet you at three o'clock beside the jungle gym!

But hey, if you really think it's smart to let little kids slaughter small animals just because pet stores sell them cheap, keep on truckin', big guy. Just don't bring your clan to my school district, 'kay?

I hate to break it to you, Toddy, but I didn't know what "peeps" were either. Thankfully, helpful people posted links like this: http://www.peepresearch.org/

:rolleyes:

OH NOES THEY'RE SLAUGHTERING THE PEEPS