Something Awful presents the worst in Video Game Journalism

[zabuni]

Part 1 (http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=3468)

Part 2 (http://www.somethingawful.com/articles.php?a=3475)

Reaction mixed on message boards everywhere, as this thread (http://www.ga-forum.com/showthread.php?t=78436) (5 pages and climbing) indicates. Also included in that thread is the surprising revelation (at least to me) that Doug Erickson is Drinky (http://www.ga-forum.com/showpost.php?p=2519707&postcount=219) Crow (http://www.ga-forum.com/showpost.php?p=2519714&postcount=220).

The number one indictment was (no surprise) Tim Rodgers, whose prose pretty much deserves the bile that SA can heap on it. It's not even Kitsune like prose, which had a pretty high signal to noise ratio. It just goes on and on and on.

It seems a bit excessive in its criticism, but "excessive in its criticism" is about as good of a descriptor of SA as you can get. As they say, it's all for the lulz.

[Jason Becker]

Why I see myself staying subscribed to a magazine like CGM for a very long time. The phrase "90% of everything is crap" definately applies to internet gaming sites.

[KieronGillen]

I just feel bad for my poor innocent commenting system. (http://gillen.cream.org/wordpress_html/?p=839)

KG

[Jason McMaster]

I'm always afraid that I'm going to end up on one of these lists. DODGED THE BULLET AGAIN!

[RickH]

Man, that's some high-quality mockery there. No, really. I like to think that I can mock things fairly well, but damn.

Four stars for the "HP Warcaft" gag alone.

[mystery]

I'm always afraid that I'm going to end up on one of these lists. DODGED THE BULLET AGAIN!

You've been on my personal list ever since you reviewed DRIV3R while I was your editor (http://www.warcry.com/scripts/columns/view_sectionalt.phtml?site=15&id=67&colid=3904). Not because it was a poorly written review, mind you, but because you had to remind me that the game existed.

[Tom Ohle]

You're just far too pretentious for your own good, Kieron :)

[Jason McMaster]

You've been on my personal list ever since you reviewed DRIV3R while I was your editor (http://www.warcry.com/scripts/columns/view_sectionalt.phtml?site=15&id=67&colid=3904). Not because it was a poorly written review, mind you, but because you had to remind me that the game existed.

God, that was a bad game. I'm on my own list for that.

[Efthimios G.]

I am surprised that the Driver series continue with releasing one bad game after the other. I mean, how do they manage to get funding from publishers?
I remember the first one and how much I hated the game for how the police was "working" on that game. After all these years they still can't make it work. Just quit or something.

[Peter Olafson]

I thought Driver 2 was great. Great electric feel and very challenging.

Did the patch for the PC version of Driv3r make it at least semi-playable?

Peter

[Fussbett]

I remember the first one and how much I hated the game for how the police was "working" on that game. After all these years they still can't make it work. Just quit or something.
Someone hated the first Driver game?! From your scare quotes around "working", I guess you're saying that the police were not working, but in fact lazy in Driver? Lazy donut-eating corrupt racists?

Driver did eventually get a worthy sequel, called Grand Theft Auto 3.

[MyNameIsWill]

I thought Driver 2 was great. Great electric feel and very challenging.

Did the patch for the PC version of Driv3r make it at least semi-playable?

Peter
Not sure, but the retail release was supposed to be worse than the console versions.

[KieronGillen]

You're just far too pretentious for your own good, Kieron :)

I'm pretentious? Wh..wh.. what?

No, you've lost me :)

KG

[extarbags]

Most pretentious ever? Guess they forgot about this gem:


To live life is to don a mask each and every day. Our true selves are seldom exposed to the world at large; to show everything to the people we must share our existences with would be to risk the ultimate rejection. We are what we think others want to see, and we live our lives doing this each and every day until it's impossible to tell where the mask ends and we begin. A mere decoration becomes a metaphor for humanity's hard time on planet Earth. We are the masks we wear.

[Naked]

Ah, Greg Orlando, America turns her lonely eyes to you...

[Ex-S Woo]

Isn't that an exerpt out of Jean-Paul Sartre?

[extarbags]

Isn't that an exerpt out of Jean-Paul Sartre?

Close. Greg Orlando's review of Majora's Mask.

[Jason McMaster]

Most pretentious ever? Guess they forgot about this gem:

That really is the worst thing ever written about a game.

[Troy S Goodfellow]

Wow.

If I ever write anything like that, I humbly ask this board to take my computer and hide it somewhere.

Troy

[Stroker Ace]

Console game reviews are too kiddie for me ;)

[Old Man Gravy]

Kieron, if it's any consolation, I thought your wife in Matrix Reloaded was totally bitchin' hawt.

[Troy S Goodfellow]

Actually, now that I think about it, wasn't your Boiling Point review even more pretentious? I mean, you had three opinions. What kind of guy has three opinions about anything?

An egghead. That's who.

Troy

[KieronGillen]

Kieron, if it's any consolation, I thought your wife in Matrix Reloaded was totally bitchin' hawt.

I did think "Waitasec... this means I get to have sex with Monica Belluci now, yeah?".

It's not so bad this SA mockery.

KG

[Ergo]

Never fear, Kieron. You are but a mere novice in the world of pretentiousness compared to our very own Brian Koontz.

[Mike Hussey]

I just feel bad for my poor innocent commenting system. (http://gillen.cream.org/wordpress_html/?p=839)

KG

Classic :)

[Hump]

Actually, now that I think about it, wasn't your Boiling Point review even more pretentious?
Troy

Best.
Review.
Evar!

[bago]

Solidified idea-cluster?

[Jason McMaster]

Yeah, Kieron, I wouldn't worry too much about what Something Awful thinks about you. Your commenting system, however, has been seriously douched up.

[KieronGillen]

Yeah, Kieron, I wouldn't worry too much about what Something Awful thinks about you. Your commenting system, however, has been seriously douched up.

I'm just digusted at all my gay lovers kissing and telling like that. The bastards.

KG