Unicorn McGriddle - Something is familiar about that guy

[Ed Solomon]

I don't know what though. His tone reminded me a bit of Lord Ebonstone/Senator Cthulhu, but a cursory review of LE's old posts show no use of the Unicorn's signature motif, the unique internal subject line.

Well, it's a disappointment, but you soldier on.

After Thanksgiving's over, though, I'm going to explore the LE angle a little more closely.

After that, I'll see if he's Mach5.

[XPav]

I'm glad we have you here to protect us.

[nutsak]

Unicorn.. do you know how to side suto ?

[Raife]

He probably would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for those meddling kids.

[Unicorn McGriddle]

HUFFMAN? Of *every* banning on this board, including foofighter1976, I consider the Huffman ban to be the best and the most justified. We all make fun of Derek Smart from time to time, but Huffman is, aside from his pet issue, essentially non-existent. He has nothing to offer ANYBODY except anti-Smart bullshit. The guy belongs confined to the strange backwaters of the internet, and kept off cooler backwaters like this one.

Which other loser, nutsak? There are a lot of other losers. You'll have to at least give me a hint.

Mach5? "Mach5 is my real name" Mach5? "Mach5 on my business cards" Mach5? The side suto is just icing on the cake. (Any side suto I perform would be uncredentialed, sadly, and probably no good. I've always wanted to learn the secret of the inoperable nelson from Chet though.) Extra points to Mach5 for being a graphic designer whose business cards are examples of awful graphic design. Maybe he saves the good stuff for the clients, like a call girl does.

Lord Ebonstone?


Fallout is the best RPG series in gaming history, (Wasteland, Fallout, Fallout 2), bar none. For Bethesda, maker of a.) buggy (Daggerfall) and b.) excrutiatingly boring (Morrowind) games, to get the rights to Fallout 3 is like making Michael Moore the director of the final Star Wars movie.

Lord Ebonstone is a crazy person. That Michael Moore Star Wars movie probably would have been cool.


Koontz, you're an idiot.

Yeah, I think you guys can rule this one out.

[nutsak]

Which other loser, nutsak? There are a lot of other losers. You'll have to at least give me a hint.


A pepsi machine once gave him lip so he beat the shit out of it. You already named him so it doesn't matter. I don't really see him as a loser - I just couldn't be assed writing his name.

So how are you DRCRYPT ?

[Unicorn McGriddle]

A pepsi machine once gave him lip so he beat the shit out of it. You already named him so it doesn't matter. I don't really see him as a loser - I just couldn't be assed writing his name.

Oh, him. Damn, man, if I were a game developer, I think I'd have better things to do than painstakingly infiltrate a forum I'd been banned from, posing as a completely new and fabricated person who makes long and complicated posts that most people don't read, with UNIQUE INTERNAL SUBJECT LINES for fuck's sake, all just to... to do what, exactly?

Yeah, on reflection, I think the main asset that Smart's participation on this board offered him was the chance to discuss (the unkind might say plug) his games -- something he couldn't do while pretending to be me.

I actually bought Battlecruiser 3000 AD. It was really crashy and I basically set it aside and never played it again. By the time I found out about the patches that made it playable, it was around 2003 and I wasn't really interested in going back to it.

Nevertheless, I don't hate Derek Smart. I kind of admire his ambition and persistence, although I don't buy his games. So BC3K was buggy on release -- that doesn't make him the antichrist. Smart's like a transsexual: the path of the true believer is so painful and difficult that nobody can doubt the conviction of those who walk it.


So how are you DRCRYPT ?

I've been compared to DrCrypt before, and though I don't think it was intended as a compliment, that's how I took it. I don't always think Crypt is right, but I do always find him a pleasure to read. What originally attracted me to this forum (I've been lurking for years) was stumbling on Shoot Club while tracking down Flight Sim Follies, but getting to read posts by DrCrypt and Brian Koontz kept me coming back.

[nutsak]

Smart's like a transsexual: the path of the true believer is so painful and difficult that nobody can doubt the conviction of those who walk it.

:shock: That's fuckin' deep... I think.

[Unicorn McGriddle]

Still waiting for followup on the OP.

[Bill Dungsroman]

You're scathing, not brutal, enough to be Crypt, never mind that he wouldn't be all coy about being Crypt anyway. And you're not a screaming idiot like Ebonstone. You're just zis guy, you know?

And while accusations of copycaterwauling are being tossed about, I'll state for the record that I ganked using titles again from U-Mac here.

[Troy S Goodfellow]

Well, the insane name makes me think Captain Cookiepants - if he is in fact a returning member.

Troy

[Unicorn McGriddle]

I took some name inspiration from Cookiepants, but nothing else.

I think if there's anybody to credit for the increased use of titles lately, it's at least 60% the new board, which makes them much more obvious. The old board tucked them in a corner and cut them off after about 60 characters, but this one puts them right at the top of the post in bold.

Crypt, it's true, has an air of dangerousness that I don't -- although on a forum, this has less to do with riding a motorcycle and having no fixed abode and more to do with posting spoilers and calling people gay. But he is an accredited general practitioner of medicine and he did found the famous and wildly successful street gang known as the Crips, and that still counts for something in this degraded day and age.

I like Dungsroman's posts, but then, I also like the work of Kitsune, DrCrypt, Flowers, Brian Koontz, and many of the other gentlemen who post here. (Even Matthew Gallant, when he's not being a DICK about the books in Morrowind.) I'm not consciously trying to emulate anybody. For the record, I'm not consciously trying to emulate Hunter S. Thompson either, and the extent to which my style resembles his (i.e., none) should be obvious.

[Ryan A]

I traced Unicorn's IP and HE'S NOT POSTING FROM JAPAN!!!111!

oh.. wrong thread.

[Rywill]

On the same note, I should mention that I am not trying to imitate Shakepseare -- at least, not consciously!! -- in case anyone was mistaking my eloquence for his.

[Glenn]

I traced Unicorn's IP and HE'S NOT POSTING FROM JAPAN!!!111!

Ma'am, we just traced that IP, and... HE'S POSTING FROM INSIDE YOUR HOUSE!!!

[Ben Sones]

On the same note, I should mention that I am not trying to imitate Shakepseare -- at least, not consciously!! -- in case anyone was mistaking my eloquence for his.

Well, thank god that's cleared up.

[Bill Dungsroman]

Well, the insane name makes me think Captain Cookiepants - if he is in fact a returning member.

Troy

Troy, I have to say, that's...that's fucked up, man. Cold.

Anyway, U-Mac said he done laks me, which makes him being CC impossible. CC hates my rotten stinking guts and blames me for all of his life's fail^H^H^H^Hinternet "stalkers," rather people who get tired of him and tell him to shut up. He even told me to meet him at his house (he lives, or at least used to live, in Vegas here), and he'd have a hundred dollar bill in one hand and a gun in the other, and some such psychotic creepy nonsense that I blocked out so I don't even know what the Hell he meant by any of that.

[Dean]

I traced Unicorn's IP and HE'S NOT POSTING FROM JAPAN!!!111!


Get out of the house right now. I've traced his IP and he's posting from UPSTAIRS!!!!!!!

[Edit: Shit! You beat me to it, Glenn.}

[Troy S Goodfellow]

CC hates my rotten stinking guts and blames me for all of his life's fail^H^H^H^Hinternet "stalkers," rather people who get tired of him and tell him to shut up. He even told me to meet him at his house (he lives, or at least used to live, in Vegas here), and he'd have a hundred dollar bill in one hand and a gun in the other, and some such psychotic creepy nonsense that I blocked out so I don't even know what the Hell he meant by any of that.

Is that so? Didn't know that. I can't specifically recall any altercations between the two of you here, but it's pretty hard to remember all the blood feuds on a forum as full of personality as this one.

I mostly enjoyed CC's posts and was sorry to see him go into exile.

Troy

[balut]

So can Unicorn McGriddles only be cooked by virgins? And where exactly would this branch of McDonald's be located?

[Ryan A]

So can Unicorn McGriddles only be cooked by virgins? And where exactly would this branch of McDonald's be located?

Definitely not at this one (http://www.courier-journal.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20051009/NEWS01/510090392).

[Guido Jones]

Is that so? Didn't know that. I can't specifically recall any altercations between the two of you here, but it's pretty hard to remember all the blood feuds on a forum as full of personality as this one.

I mostly enjoyed CC's posts and was sorry to see him go into exile.

Troy

Bill (aka HomoSayWhat) and CookiePants (aka The Janitor) had a long history on the Old Man Murray forums, and he did accuse Bill of stalking him here, and I think he accused me too.

Good riddance to him though.

edit: You can see a short history of the janitor and Bill here (http://www.quartertothree.com/game-talk/showthread.php?t=2662&page=2) which it appears I instigated!

[Ed Solomon]

Still waiting for followup on the OP.How could I've missed this thread. At least I got here before the Executioner5 jokes started.

So, who is McGriddle? Like the number of licks to get to the tootsie roll center and what the hell is up with Aikes, the world may never know.

After a few minutes reviewing the 'corn's posts and Lord Cthulu's, it was obvious McGriddle wasn't Ebby Baby. I then lost interest. I may have trouble believing that someone would lurk here for years without posting and then start posting over four times a day, but so what.

Oh, I went through the motions, looking for identifiable phrases that might link McGriddle with a member of the gently touched diaspora, but when "foment" didn't turn up anything useful and I discovered that in the entire history of QT3 no one else has ever used the word "tussock", I gave up even the pretense of looking.

I now admit defeat. Some questions can't be answered through mere logic. Perhaps Brian Koontz could bring his dark holistic genius to the task because I have met my match.

P.S. I lob a softball like signature motif and you swing at unique internal subject lines? You sir are definitely no Dr Crypt.

[Jason McMaster]

Is that so? Didn't know that. I can't specifically recall any altercations between the two of you here, but it's pretty hard to remember all the blood feuds on a forum as full of personality as this one.

I mostly enjoyed CC's posts and was sorry to see him go into exile.

Troy

Oh, it wasn't here. It was in the OMM forums when he was The Janitor. Man, those were the days.

[Bill Dungsroman]

Oh, it wasn't here. It was in the OMM forums when he was The Janitor. Man, those were the days.

Hee hee, yeah. Here's the rough timeline, and I swear on my penis it's the truth:

-the janitor posts on OMM, declaring the site dead and thus fair game for spidering and so forth. Much later on, he claims to have been merely joking. Fair enough, but what does one expect with such an overbearingly trollish first post? He gets the usual-for-OMM n00b treatment, that of being called a cunt as many ways as thesaurusly possible.

-He posts in other forums on OMM, pretending that he never made that other stupid post. I remind him, in every thread he started within the first week he arrives. He calls me a bully. He's right, but you know, we all knew at OMM that chet was one asshole away from pulling the plug on the time-sink, no-profit venture that was OMM.

-He starts a thread about Latin women, polling for me-too anecdotes for their wont to, uh, stab people. Yeah, that's right. I don't know either. Every sentient human that posts on OMM calls him a complete ignoramus, including me. but, it's me that he singles out.

-He keeps posting, thanking me for emailing him some flame email and signing his guestbook with something mean, or whatever, on his stupid now-defunct website, www.screamingmonkeylabs.com. I went to that site of his once, vomited, and never returned. I still don't know his email addy.

-OMM commits chetricide. We all cry like petulant bitches, start a retarded fight on poe while trying to get our bearings. McMaster lets us hang at his site, PlanetHate, which still ranks in my mind as one of the most gracious thing an internet dude has ever done for me personally. He even overhauls his phpBBhphpBBhpbp code to one that looks like OMM's, just to like make us feel better. That's why if you mess with McMaster, Pal, I'll cut you.

-A guy from poe emails me with an URL of a quick linky-link page, a Search from an Animal Crossing forum wheere he posts. I post a link to the page on PH, asking posters to guess who the Mystery Poster is. It's not hard, with his sudden word CAPITLIZATIONS and impudent tone, especially against the admins. FIGHT THA POWAH! He claims I'm stalking him and then throws down that $100 bill or Smith and Wesson Internet Tough Guy riff. I laugh extremely hard at him.

-TJ follows us there. We discuss the building of caltrops. I even comment that whatever we do, there will be no banning for anything but the most fundamental of transgressions (inlined porn, spam, etc.), using TJ as an example of not banning someone for being completely stupid.

-Caltrops is born. TJ follows us there. He runs off crying or whatever, occasionally returning to tell me to leave him alone everywhere on the internet, including here. I'd been lurking here for months by then - I didn't post for maybe 4-6 months after lurking, when somebody started a thread saying "Would all the lurkers effing say something?" Spoofy clowns on my name. Spoofy. Sheesh.

-By sheer coinkydink, shortly before then TJ told me to stop being a pussy and register here, instead of sniping at him under anonymous nicks. I dunno what he's talking about but I do it anyway, cuz he dared me and Mister, nobody dares the Dungsroman or whatever. So, you all have Captain Cookiepants to thank for the glory that is me! here. And whoever went off about lurkers, I forget.

-I like posting here, enough that cohabitating with him is no big, so I don't pay him no mind. I stay out of his fruity arguments and let him dig his own grave. Occasionally, he shows up at caltrops under throwaway nicks to snipe at me. He gets found out, even forgets admitting as much, and then denying it all later.

-Do you see the funny part? He spends over a year decrying me as a stalker blah blah blah, meanwhile it could be argued that it was him stalking me, following me from OMM to PH to caltrops to here, back to caltrops to do the same stuff of which he was accusing me.

[Jason McMaster]

man, I always had a soft spot for CC, but he was nutty as hell