View Full Version : Hard times
07-03-2002, 11:14 PM
I feel compelled to tell you guys, because I consider many of you great friends. Without getting too detailed, I just want to say that my wife and I have hit some hard times, and things are struggling. They got pretty bad, and while things are looking up -- I'm very, very confident that we're going to work things out, which is a lot more than I could have said three days ago -- there's still a lot of work to go.
I just mention this not looking so much for advice (though I wouldn't necessarily reject it), as I think we know what we need to do, but more to ask those of you who feel compelled to do so to pray for us, and those of you who aren't inclined to pray to just cross your fingers and think happy thoughts for us.
Sure, every marriage has hard times. I know that. But that doesn't make it easier on the people who are there right now. And right now, we are.
I do feel compelled to add that these issues have made message-board posting seem far less important, and that's the only reason that Mark's post count ever exceeded my own. :)
Thanks for your support.
07-04-2002, 09:48 AM
Hey, good luck Murph.
The only advice I'll give you is to be patient and not expect everything to be resolved right away and to be wary of making any long-term decisions while you're right in the middle of whatever it is you're in the middle of. Cool heads and all that.
Now I'm going to post some more to pad my lead. :)
07-04-2002, 09:59 AM
Good luck, Murph. Been there, done that. NOT fun.
Hope whatever's best for you happens...
07-04-2002, 10:36 AM
Heck, who needs relationships when you have computers?
 and whores.
07-04-2002, 10:43 AM
Fingers crossed, dude. Hope everything works out.
Troy S Goodfellow
07-04-2002, 11:17 AM
Good luck Murph. Marriage is the hardest job I've ever had, and the pay's not very good either. Still worth doing though.
Consider yourself in the prayer list.
07-04-2002, 11:34 AM
Sorry to hear it, Murph. Much luck to you and your wife. I'm sure you'll get some good advice here...heck, I'll even put up my "Psychiatrist Is In, 5 Cents" sign, Lucy-style. :)
PS: I only pull the football away at the last minute when Wumpus is kicking.
07-04-2002, 11:43 AM
Marriage is the hardest job I've ever had, and the pay's not very good either.
I think the pay is wonderful.
Good luck Mike. The only advice I can give is to listen very carefully. That goes for both you and your wife.
07-04-2002, 12:39 PM
What's the pay? Regular sex?
07-04-2002, 01:01 PM
Sure, but that's only one of the fringe benefits.
07-04-2002, 02:13 PM
Best of luck Murph. If you ever need an outlet, Qt3 and the Internet are here. You'll get plenty of berating along with the sympathetic listening, but it's cheaper than hiring a shrink or a lawyer :)
07-04-2002, 08:59 PM
Good luck friend. I have had friends go through pretty dire straights that have come through it all the better for it.
Right now I am going through troubles that are threatening to tear up my family as well. Miserable money troubles between my Mom and ever so slightly self-centered sister. I often feel like a referee between the two of them, my wife, and my sister's 6 year old daughter. I now have a little girl and they were all here for a couple of days and the estrogen alert meters here and in surrounding areas were at unhealthy levels. Of course that may have been the Ozone alert levels.
I often feel like I alone have these shitty travails heaped upon me. In reality, people go through this same crap every day. Others have made it through this and worse before and hopefully we can too.
Damn, I sound like some sort of cheesy, peace and love high school cheerleader. Or maybe Rodney King. :)
07-04-2002, 09:19 PM
nothing is a cliche with its happening to you
wish you all the best. good luck man, looking forward to your good news :wink:
Derek Smart [3000AD]
07-05-2002, 03:42 PM
'ang in there Murph, it always gets worse before it gets better. Been there. Done that. Got the t-shirt, the tattoo, the skids and of course, the post card.
07-05-2002, 06:43 PM
While I'm almost certainly not qualified to give advice when it comes to stuff like this, I'll be happy to lend an ear or a shoulder if you need one. :)
07-05-2002, 09:38 PM
Good luck to you and your wife Murph. I've been helping my best friend and his wife through times like this so I have an inkling of what you are dealing with. Just hang in there as best you can.
07-05-2002, 09:40 PM
I've been there, too. Boy, do I feel for you. These things take an incredible amount of stamina and courage to get through. Good luck.
07-07-2002, 07:05 PM
I really appreciate all the support you've shown me though this. Though I'm not prepared to say that we're "through it" at this point, things are really, really good. I can confidently say that we're both happier than we've been in a long time, if not ever. We've done a lot of talking and a lot of thinking and we're both making important decisions on our own as to what we should do differently from here. We're basically starting over, clean slate. I even bought her another ring (though it's not replacing her wedding ring, it does represent new vows and promises) that she's wearing on her right hand, as a symbol...Just between us. To everyone else, it's an anniversary present (because it would figure that this would all come to a "T" the week of our third anniversary), but we know what it really means. And I must say, I'm very proud of that idea, and if any of you ever have problems with your wives, I recommend it. It went over very well. (She had gone out of town, and I had every intention of meeting her at the airport and proposing again, the whole nine yards. She wound up coming back early, though, and I hadn't gotten the ring yet, so we went and picked it out together.)
So, point being: Thanks. I sincerely believe that all the support and well-wishes and happy thoughts and prayers that we recieved from everyone around us helped, and we're well on our way to being "okay." Honestly, I think we're better than ever, because we understand each other so much better than before.
Oh, and I never believed what people said about make-up sex, but...Yeah, that's pretty much better than ever before, too. (Was that an over-share?)
07-08-2002, 05:47 PM
Too much information. :P
Good luck though, chief. I'd offer advice but I can't even handle houseplants.
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