View Full Version : Cheney takes over
06-29-2002, 06:46 AM
They seem to be making a big deal of this temporary transfer of power. Since we are in a "state of war" already, most government and military personnel should already know what to do in case of emergency. Though I haven't had this particular procedure, it would make more sense for the President to have some local anestetic applied to the "point of entry" and go through the procedure conscious. That way there is no need for all the trouble.
06-29-2002, 07:51 AM
I've had the procedure in question fairly recently - believe me, you want to be in La-La land when they're doing it. You're awake, but pretty loopy, and then for about an hour afterwards you can't remember anything that happened in the last hour or so (it's common to think that you're waiting to have the procedure.)
The issue is that you have this good sized hose/probe that is running up your rear and then up and around your body in your colon (it goes up the left side of your chest, to mid-chest, then down the other side.) It is VERY uncomfortable, in many ways that I won't go into here (I had a Sigmoidoscopy previously, where they only go about half-way, and I only had some Valium, and I swore I would never ever do that again, and would never let a friend go through it.)
06-29-2002, 11:04 AM
I've had it done too. (Good lord, this board is getting personal.) And while Lackey and I were perfectly justified in being anesthetized, we're just measly little game writers. Our only influence on world affairs is the card-carrying reserve membership in the Illuminati that Microsoft gives us for writing positive reviews.
Shrubya, on the other hand, is the leader of the freaking free world. A colonoscopy is "heavy discomfort," not extreme pain. He shoulda sucked it up like a macho Texan and said "Ram it in, boys!" That's what LBJ woulda done.
Oh well, any guy crafty enough to sell $23.8 million in oil industry parts and equipment to Iraq between 1998 and 2001 and still make it to the nation's second highest public office deserves a couple of hours as president, I suppose.
06-29-2002, 11:14 AM
This story keeps making me think of the Kids In The Hall sketch about the anal probing aliens. Best line: "We've been coming here for 50 years and performing anal probes, and all that we have learned is that one in ten doesn't really seem to mind."
As far as Cheney, isn't he the Shadow President anyway? He's the one who has been in the secret bunker, not W.
06-29-2002, 04:24 PM
I'll tell ya what, Denny - when I had the Sigmoidoscopy, which was done on a table in the doctor's office with nothing but a freakin' Valium (which had no effect on me) I looked at the device on the wall of the office and told the nurse "I sure hope that's the vacuum cleaner they use to clean the floor in the evening." The hose looked like an elephant trunk. She laughed and said, no, that's it. The doctor walked in and asked if I was ready; I told him that as tight as my toes were clenched, good luck getting that huge hose where it needs to go. And they do it one centimeter at a time: "OK, another quarter centimeter - let's blow some air in here - got that on camera? OK, ease it up another quarter centimeter - can you feel that thing twisting around in your chest? Only 60 more centimeters to go..."
Also - it is incredibly uncomfortable and pretty painful. Seriously, if I had known what it was going to be like, I would have insisted on a full colonoscopy the first time around, with the attendant loopy juice.
06-29-2002, 04:50 PM
Yeow, pardon me for screaming.
I have no idea why people turn down pain medication. I'm at the point where if I have to be in the dentist chair for more than an hour, I want her to send me home with a pain Rx. What is there to gain by not getting pain meds? The only thing that is sometimes onerus is occasionally having to coordinating a ride home. So why skip it?
Not to bust on your decision. It's just that my wife does this all the time and I can't figure out why. When she was pregnant, the night before she was to be induced, they said they wanted to give her some morphine to make sure she had enough sleep for the next day. She wants to consider, ask questions. I'm like, "uh, baby, the doctor is offering you morphine." Jeez.
06-29-2002, 05:29 PM
Oh, hell, I was *unconscious* when I had my colonoscopy. (Worst.. QT3... Topic.... EVER!) I'm just saying, he's the President of the USA. Daddy's boy should suck it up and take it like a world leader. :-)
06-29-2002, 06:37 PM
LOL! Yeah, this has to be in the QT3 hall of shame. I had a colonoscopy after the Sgmoid - and for the colonoscopy I wasn't unconscious but I was very, um, happy. Silly. And don't really remember anything about it.
I fully support his doctor's recommendation to take the drugs (actually, from a doctor friend of mine in Ann Arbor who I chatted with before my full colonoscopy, he said that I would not have the option of being fully awake and non-drugged, as the doctors need you relaxed and compliant during the procedure, and it apparently is more dangerous with a fully aware and "feeling and reacting", as he put it, patient.
06-29-2002, 06:39 PM
By the way, Denny - the fact that we are comparing our medical procedures means that we are officially "old."
Where's Jeff Green? Shouldn't he be in here talking about his rheumatism? :wink:
Derek Smart [3000AD]
06-30-2002, 05:48 AM
I was planning on doing one (I'm 39 this year, heh) as part of my next yearly full physical (in mid-July) but I'm going to do the virtual non-invasive method. Insurance doesn't pay for it (bastards), which means its 100% out-of-pocket.
I know two peope who've done it, both while under the influence of a controlled substance. They didn't have anything good to say about it. :roll: After listening to those accountings, there's no way I was going to do it.
06-30-2002, 08:04 AM
Oh, god, I SO want this topic to die. :-) But Derek, I'll go ahead and say you might as well do it the old-fashioned way. I looked into the virtual method, and not only does it cost more (since you're paying out of pocket), but if they find anything, they have to go back and do a regular colonoscopy to remove the polyps.
And frankly, it's the "Colon blow" you have to drink beforehand that's 99% of the annoyance. The actual procedure's nothing with the drugs. Particularly after you SEE the thing they're going to use to make you just a little less secure about your heterosexuality with. It's not nearly as bad as it looks. :oops:
Mark, can we get a new board, "The Geriatric Medical Porch," for all us near-40-somethings to sit around and kvetch about our sundry medical stories? :?:
Oh, and Jeff L, I don't expect to see Jeff Green here. He's in awfully good health for a man of 63. The only medical procedure I ever heard him contemplate was narrowly averted by the FDA approval of Viagra.
I am taking notes. Erik and I have long been without regular medical insurance and will be covered in July. We are planning on getting all the tests we can done.
To save time I am taking the tests involving things stuck in your mouth, nose or ears. Erik will be taking the anal so I am sure he is excited thinking about drinking something called a colon blow.
We will be flipping for the gonorrhea test. I am not sure what Erik considers winning for that one.
06-30-2002, 03:42 PM
Actually, Chet, Colon Blow was a cereal advertised on SNL by the late great Phil Hartman.
The real product 's name is "GoLitely," an ironic and totally inappropriate name.
06-30-2002, 06:50 PM
I feel sick.
06-30-2002, 10:33 PM
I feel sick.
Perhaps you are in need of a colonoscopy.
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