Do not TAUNT the Mother of All Hives

[balut]

http://www.cnn.com/2004/US/West/08/16/bees.reut/index.html

What a great story. :D

[Wholly Schmidt]

"I would punch every bee in the face."

[Tyjenks]

So thaaaaaaat's what that humming noise was.

[JosieNutter]

Quarter of a TON?! Jebus. That's some damn frightening stuff for allergic & phobic people... :p

[Brad Grenz]

I've been attacked by swarms living in the walls of my home on two seperate occasions, at two different houses. The first time a swarm living in our attic chewed the the plaster of the ceiling into my bedroom while we were out. I was not ensnared by their trap, however, when I sent my father into my room ahead of me. The second time we had a hive in the exterior wall and I was on our back deck when my sister slammed the back door. This aggitated the bees who brought it good. I got stung about a dozen times before I made it inside and stripped off my clothes. Luckily I'm not allergic like my older sister or it would have been a job for 911.

[novacane]

I've been attacked by swarms living in the walls of my home on two seperate occasions, at two different houses.

I'd change my aftershave if I were you.

[balut]

I've been attacked by swarms living in the walls of my home on two seperate occasions, at two different houses.

I'd change my aftershave if I were you.

I dunno, I hear Calvin Klein's "Pollen, Wax, and Honey #1" really reels in the ladies.

[Chris Nahr]

Yeah, the queen. She's badass, man. I mean big.

(Sorry... couldn't help it...)

[beecubed]

they should have just sent in a crack squad of killer giant hornets:

stream.eizodana.com/olympus/m01_hi.wmv

[balut]

But wouldn't the killer hornets be outnumbered by, I dunno, about a hundred thousand or so, give or take ten or twenty thousand?

[beecubed]

But wouldn't the killer hornets be outnumbered by, I dunno, about a hundred thousand or so, give or take ten or twenty thousand?

just watch the video. its nuts.

[Duality]

How the hell does a landlowner allow a honeycomb to be built to the size that it threatens the integrity of the building?

[graller]

But wouldn't the killer hornets be outnumbered by, I dunno, about a hundred thousand or so, give or take ten or twenty thousand?

just watch the video. its nuts.

Wow - I loved the drama but that was insane. I always knew there was a reason I hated hornets.

[quatoria]

Holy shit that video was nuts. I'd love to know what techniques they used to get that footage - it actually looked like a tiny camera was attached to the back of one of the hornets, in one scene.

[John Many Jars]

The narrator said the bees managed to bring down a few hornets --- I wish they'd gotten footage of that, cuz I'd be all like, w00000000000000!

[quatoria]

Apparently, Japanese bees have an incredibly effective defense against those hornets (they're native to japan). The bees swarm the hornets in a giant ball, surrounding it and clinging to the hornet, and to each other. The heat of all those bees raises the ambient temperature within the bee-ball to something like 55 degrees (can't recall the specific number). It's too much heat for the hornet to tolerate, and it dies of heat stroke, but the temperature is well within the tolerance for bees. Using that technique, they've been very successful at defending their hives. The imported European bees have no such defense, and as such, die in their thousands to these hornets.

[beecubed]

what a great bit of trivia. thanks!

[Dave Long]

"Bees! Bees in the car! Oh, god it hurts! Your weapons are useless against them!"

--Dave

[balut]

Just saw that video - damn, that was crazy. They should've been playing Barber's "Adagio for Strings" in the background during the massacre.

What you don't see is the lone surviving Soldier Bee, buried under a pile of his dead comrades, missing a limb and emotionally scarred, rise from the pile of dead a half hour later. He trains himself in the secret Insect Ways, learning from the Praying Mantis, from the Rhino Beetle, from the Wolf Spider, from the Walking Stick, from the Spitting Cockroach - he becomes the ultimate killing machine. Years pass, and the Hornets are complacent, having conquered and massacred a myriad of such bee hives over time. The time is perfect, and one night, the Last Hive Warrior returns to enact his bloody retribution. The Insect World will never be the same again....

[Wholly Schmidt]

The hornets are doomed!

[Duality]

stream.eizodana.com/olympus/m01_hi.wmv
As shown through the vision of Paul Verhoeven!

Years pass, and the Hornets are complacent, having conquered and massacred a myriad of such bee hives over time. The time is perfect, and one night, the Last Hive Warrior returns to enact his bloody retribution. The Insect World will never be the same again....
You have to show the hornets, overweight, slovenly laying about with honey dripping from their mouths.

[Brad Grenz]

Just saw that video - damn, that was crazy. They should've been playing Barber's "Adagio for Strings" in the background during the massacre.

What you don't see is the lone surviving Soldier Bee, buried under a pile of his dead comrades, missing a limb and emotionally scarred, rise from the pile of dead a half hour later. He trains himself in the secret Insect Ways, learning from the Praying Mantis, from the Rhino Beetle, from the Wolf Spider, from the Walking Stick, from the Spitting Cockroach - he becomes the ultimate killing machine. Years pass, and the Hornets are complacent, having conquered and massacred a myriad of such bee hives over time. The time is perfect, and one night, the Last Hive Warrior returns to enact his bloody retribution. The Insect World will never be the same again....

I would pay cash money to see that film.

[balut]

stream.eizodana.com/olympus/m01_hi.wmv
As shown through the vision of Paul Verhoeven!

Years pass, and the Hornets are complacent, having conquered and massacred a myriad of such bee hives over time. The time is perfect, and one night, the Last Hive Warrior returns to enact his bloody retribution. The Insect World will never be the same again....
You have to show the hornets, overweight, slovenly laying about with honey dripping from their mouths.

I'm picturing the Hornet Nest as an insect cross between Sodom and Gomorra, Hefner's mansion, and perhaps the pre-self-aware-Moses-Egypt of The Ten Commandments.

The big plot twist will involve The Last Hive Warrior (TLHW), just having silently dispatched and devoured a snoozing Hornet sentry, chancing upon the Hornet Slave Pens, where he will find - wait for it - THE LAST HIVE QUEEN!! Not the bloated, pregnant, old queen of the Hive (who was killed in the massacre), but the young, nubile, just-matured Queen-to-Be (QtB) of the Hive, mature enough to start laying eggs, but with no strapping your male bees around to fertilize her. TLHW will free her, of course, and tell her to flee the Hornet's Nest to safety, but of course the QtB is young and prone to the charms of the rugged, scarred, deadly TLHW. Naturally, she waits till he moves on, then follows him to make sure he's going to be alright.

Of course, once the next dozen or so Hornet sentries are dispatched by TLHW, the Trusted Hornet Lieutenant starts suspecting foul play is afoot. Despite his numerous pleas to his superior, the Overconfident Hornet General dismisses them as paranoia and continues to gorge himself on honey and bee larvae. Despite his leader's confidence, Trusted Hornet Lieutenant (THL) is still wary, so he secretly dispatches a pair of grizzled Hornet Mid-level Thugs to find out what's going on. If things get REALLY dicey, THL can always unleash the secret Master Hornet Assassins, but for the moment it's best to leave them be.

(hmm, I think I've perhaps put too much thought into this)

[Wholly Schmidt]

Let's kill two birds with one stone. Instead of pitching this as a hollywood blockbuster, we'll pitch it to Gabe and Tycho for a comic strip to further drive Koontz mad.

[Brad Grenz]

I will settle for nothing less than an animated feature. Gabe can do character designs. Let me know when there is an electronic press kit so I can start my fan site.

[quatoria]

If you think about it, though: a standard example of this species can kill a thousand bees without difficulty. You'd think that even a slovenly, dim witted, half blind, limbless, diseased, demented hornet would still be able to kill Our Hero Bee a hundred times over without moving from off his honey bidet.

[Gourmand]

If you think about it, though: a standard example of this species can kill a thousand bees without difficulty. You'd think that even a slovenly, dim witted, half blind, limbless, diseased, demented hornet would still be able to kill Our Hero Bee a hundred times over without moving from off his honey bidet.

You're right, we'll have to incorporate cybernetics into the story somehow.
Good thinking.

[balut]

Dammit, there goes the second plot twist!

[balut]

If you think about it, though: a standard example of this species can kill a thousand bees without difficulty. You'd think that even a slovenly, dim witted, half blind, limbless, diseased, demented hornet would still be able to kill Our Hero Bee a hundred times over without moving from off his honey bidet.

Dude, The Last Hive Warrior trained in the SECRET INSECT WAYS. You know, stealth-ninja-assassin-insect-kung-fu and stuff. He has this little old ancient mentor, a Japanese Beetle, who bosses him around and makes him do all sorts of menial tasks that TLHW doesn't understand. Only later does he realize that those menial tasks ARE the beginnings of the training.

So, even WHEN TLHW fights the Hornet General, with his cybernetic eye and his bionic limbs, and the Trusted Hornet Lieutenant realizes the error of his ways through observing the stalwart honor and courage of TLHW and sacrifices himself by leaping in front of the laser beam fired at TLHW, it's a foregone conclusion that TLHW will win, only after taking a good beating from the General while the General taunts him.

[Andrew Mayer]

If you think about it, though: a standard example of this species can kill a thousand bees without difficulty. You'd think that even a slovenly, dim witted, half blind, limbless, diseased, demented hornet would still be able to kill Our Hero Bee a hundred times over without moving from off his honey bidet.

Kill him a hundred times...
Kill him a thousand...

He will not stop.

The Last Hive Warrior
WILL
NOT
STOP
until he has had his revenge.

[quatoria]

Wow, that's pretty impressive. Usually, killing somebody one time is enough.

[Captain Tenneal]

So when does TLHW learn that the QtB is actually his sister? And could they have lightsaber stingers? "I see your schwartz-stinger is as big as mine, lonebee!"

[Andrew Mayer]

Scene:

The newly revived TLHW has just sunk his stinger deep into one of the evil hornets. They are locked in a deadly embrace

Evil Hornet: Foolish bee! You have killed me, but when you tear your stinger free, you will also die!

TLHW shoves him away, and we see a solid steel stinger sticking out of the Evil Hornet.

TLHW smile. With a metallic "Shwing" SFX a shiny new stinger snaps into place from TLHW's Abdomen. The evil hornet drops to the floor, a stunned look on his face.

Evil Hornet: Un-bee-lievable.

TLHW: Bee-lieve it.

[balut]

Oooh, good catch-phrase.

Scene:
TLHW is disguised as a slave/worker bee in an attempt to infiltrate and scout the Hornet Nest. He encounters a bored, lower-echelon Hornet guard manning the Nest entrance.

Guard (menacing, but also somewhat disaffected): Hey, you! Where do you think you're going??

TLHW (feigning meekness, and carrying pollen): Please, I must report inside at once for this delivery!

Guard (just being a jerk, now - knocks aside the pollen bundle): I don't see no delivery, here. Haw haw! Shoo, Bee, you're bugging me! Haw haw haw!

TLHW (turns to go, but looks back with a spark in his eyes): I'll Bee Back....

[playingwithknives]

I'll never question the fact that in martial arts films why the hero is attacked one at a time by an entire army of villians now ive seen it in nature. Stupid kung fu bee's.