Heavy Too (or, A Real Couch Potato)

[Traumahound]

http://www.wftv.com/news/3643877/detail.html

40-year-old Gail Grinds was literally stuck to her couch and had to be removed surgically at the hospital.

Authorities estimate she had been on the couch anywhere from two to five years. (Emphasis mine)

It's a tragic story, but I couldn't not make the obvious couch potato gag.

[Bwah]

Using planks, they loaded the woman on to the trailer, still attached to the couch. Removing her would be too painful, since her body is grafted to the fabric. After years of staying put, her skin has literally become one with the sofa and it must be surgically removed.

:shock:

[Duality]

So if I want to be a cyborg, all I have to do is sit on a bunch of mechanical parts for 5 years?

SWEET!

[Calistas]

Feeders and bloaters. Ick! :o

Peter

[Aszurom]

TETSUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

[Ben Sones]

So if I want to be a cyborg, all I have to do is sit on a bunch of mechanical parts for 5 years?

SWEET!

The sad irony is that in five years all the parts will be obsolete. Ah, Moore's Law, how you mock us!

[nutsak]

If she was in that couch for five years, how did she get more food? How did she go to the toilet?

[John Merva]

If she was in that couch for five years, how did she get more food? How did she go to the toilet?

Are these questions you really want answered?

[derek_hutch]

If she was in that couch for five years, how did she get more food? How did she go to the toilet?

Obviously she didn't "GO" to the toilet.

[Supertanker]

I'm sure that's just one ingredient of Couch Cement (tm).

[shift6]

Waiting for the apologists to blame this on genetics.