Hey, it’s Jonathan Strange Crane, who’s real name is Kevin! Listen to us city boys relating their adventures in Maine. One of us — I won’t say who — uses the phrase “Yankee dickering”. I also fumble the introduction, but not as badly as Kevin fumbles eloping. We later relate System Shock, the only first person shooter with a rearview mirror, to Hamlet and Oedipus. Bring your own beret!
Next week: E3 dinner instead of a podcast
We relate this horror sci-fi rom-com to things as diverse as Moon, Rosemary’s Baby, Happy Days, and the Gulf oil spill. If you haven’t seen Splice yet, jump to our 3×3 at the 46-minute mark: movies that should be made into videogames.
Next week: The A-Team
Although Enidigm didn’t want to divulge any personal information about himself, he did reveal a second pseudonym. Which makes him twice as mysterious! He did, however, have plenty to say about the Total War series. Plus we get in a bit of Red Dead Redemption talk.
Next week: Jonathan Crane and System Shock
Is Prince of Persia about a magic doo-dad, ostriches, the invasion of Iraq, the fantastical properties of Gemma Arterton’s decolletage, Ben Kingsley’s eyeliner, or all of the above?
If you haven’t seen Prince of Persia, join us for our 3×3 of movie romances in which the characters don’t even kiss. It’s a tough one. It starts at the 51:30 mark.
Next week: Splice…
Quest for Glory is one of those games I didn’t play. It was just another King’s Quest game, right? Who needs it? But after listening to Adam (a.k.a. bahimiron) talk about the series, it seems I made a bad call by not playing those games. Adam also explains the thing about the stripper.
Next week: enidigm and Empire: Total War
Ben Foster and Woody Harrelson are soldiers tasked with notifying the next of kin of killed soldiers. Is The Messengers a war film? A buddy story? An art house movie? Whatever you want to call it — we wrestle with that a bit — the three of us heartily recommend it.
If you haven’t seen The Messenger, join us for this week’s 3×3: movies that recommend other movies. It starts at the 57-minute mark.
Next week: Prince of Persia
In this podcast with Dean “Dean” O’Donnell, you will hear him begin a point with the words “So I was fighting these black dragons the other day.” And he’s not talking about a videogame. You know you’re in good hands for a discussion of Neverwinter Nights 2.
But first, we range across such topics as Super Columbine Massacre RPG, our backgrounds in theater, and banning fun and zombies.
Next week: bahimiron and Quest for Glory
With a little help from director Ridley Scott and screenwriter Brian Helgeland, Russell Crowe is Robin Hood! Or is he?
If you haven’t seen Robin Hood, join us for this week’s 3×3: movies that made you like an actor or director you previously loathed. It starts at the 52-minute mark.
Next week: The Messenger
Jason Cross discuss with me the idyllic yesteryear of videogames journalism, whether writing about PCs is fun anymore, and how to bail on bad TV shows. Then we talk about No One Lives Forever, the game whose acronym is more fun to say than any other game except Master of Orion. NOLF! Say it out loud. Your mouth will thank you. NOLF!
Does No One Lives Forever hold up? Why wasn’t it more successful? Is Cate Archer to blame? And how would NOLF do if it came out today?
Next week: Dean and Neverwinter Nights 2. N’winn!
Will you be as bored listening to us talk about Iron Man 2 as we were watching Iron Man 2? We hope not, but we don’t make any guarantees. If you haven’t seen Iron Man 2, you can fast forward to this week’s 3×3 at the 29-minute mark for movie lines that should be famous.
Next week: Robin Hood
Me and Jason — a.k.a. pyrhic [sic] — discuss ancient Greek tactics confused for drinks, real-world calamities including matchmaking in DICE’s games, and how Left 4 Dead is a rage machine. He also totally puts the “ass” in asymmetrical, but catches himself on it before I can give him any guff. Then we get around to wishing more games were like Pirates. We’re at it for a while, but if you listen, you could win a free bad game!
Next week: Jason Cross and No One Lives Forever
You probably haven’t seen 44 Inch Chest, which just came out on DVD. You should do something about that. Then you can listen to our podcast about this brutal profane poetic British amalgam of Othello, Reservoir Dogs, and Sexy Beast.
Until then, you’ll just have to fast forward to this week’s 3×3 at the 48-minute mark: movies that break the fourth wall.
Next week: Iron Man 2
Me and Kate — who you know as Athryn — discuss what happens if you go down that path leading into darkness. Then we discuss World of Warcraft.
Also on the topic of paths leading into darkness, there’s no small amount of Breaking Bad love in this podcast. Join us for your chance to win a free but lousy game on the platform of your choice.
Next week: pyrhic and Pirates!
Hey, it’s our second comic book movie in a row! Does The Losers go over with us as well as Kick-Ass did? Spoiler: no. Listen to three Idris Elba fans commiserate.
This week’s 3×3 starts at the 44-minute mark. Join us for our top three fights in movies.
Next week: 44-Inch Chest
This isn’t just a podcast, it’s a gauntlet. You won’t just meet a guy who came up through delicatessens to bring you the hard-hitting news, day in and day out. You won’t just join a couple of dudes having a Demigod love-in. You won’t just hear one of the best Qt3 accents I’ve heard yet. You will be challenged to participate in one of Quarter to Three’s greatest events that wasn’t conducted by Bill Dungsroman, a months-long game to end all games, a battle to rule the galaxy and all that stuff. Are you one of the three people we’re looking for?
If not, you might still win a free game if you listen. Freak out on a moonage daydream, oh yeah.
Up next: Athryn and World of Warcraft