The tide of Warhammer stuff keeps rolling in

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One of the benefits of the Warhammer license being handed out like candy is that some of the games that use the Warhammer license will be good. Perhaps even very good. And some of those games will keep on giving. Today, the Space Marines arrive in Battlefleet: Gothic Armada, the Witch Hunters arrive in Mordheim: City of the Damned, and the Eldar arrive in Warhammer 40,000: Eternal Crusade. All on the same day! Space Marines cost $7, Witch Hunters cost $10, and the Eldar are part of the ongoing process of adding content to Eternal Crusade’s ongoing early access. Which I wouldn’t normally mention, but it’s worth mentioning any time space elfs show up.

You’re up, Creative Assembly. Not that Total War: Warhammer is hurting for content, but we’re all eager to hear who the new kids in class will be. Skaven? I bet it’s the skaven.

Lionhead may be dead, but Fable may live on

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Microsoft closed Lionhead Studios in April, but the Fable franchise remains active despite Fable Legends being canceled shortly before the studio shut down. Fable lives! A group of ex-Lionhead folks have licensed the Fable name and started a Kickstarter for Fable Fortune, a concept that came out of the Pub Games project. Now separated from Microsoft, the game needs crowd-funding assistance to get finished.

Microsoft have helped us by giving us the license for Fable Fortune, but they are no longer investing in the project. We need to secure the remaining funds ourselves to complete development.

Fable Fortune from Flaming Fowl Studios will be a free-to-play collectible card game that leans heavily on the good versus evil morality system present in the Fable games. It may not be a full-blown action roleplaying game, but it looks like Flaming Fowl has the essence of Fable in it. You get all the British humor you’d expect from the series including bad puns, silly mustaches, and bodily functions.

How happy we will be by the beautiful sea in Fallout 4’s Far Harbor

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The Far Harbor expansion for Fallout 4 is a big bowl of post-apocalyptic clam chowder. While Fallout 4 had plenty of shout-outs to Lovecraft, Far Harbor wears its inspiration proudly. Being set on an island off the coast of New England, it’s full of horrors like sullen fishermen, dangerous mist, icthyian monsters, and violent cultists. It may be the best Lovercraft game to date. There’s new loot to collect and new locations to stumble through, but the best stuff may be hidden underwater around the island where most players will never go. Get some underwater breathing in your perks and go find some sunken treasure.

Sub sim Uboot intends to give that cigar smoking fatso the what-for

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Before FTL let you manage your crew on their peril-fraught voyage into the procedurally generated deep unknown, there was U-boat sim Silent Hunter 5. You made the same kinds of crew management decisions. Okay, here we go into a battle. This man goes here and that man goes there. It was all very personal.

Uboot seems to take a page from the same ship’s log. At first, it looks like the usual third person naval action game. But as you watch the promo video (Uboot is just a Kickstarter at this point), the view zooms in to a quaint cutaway of the sub. Anyone who’s ever studied the cutaway view of a ship will appreciate this. It’s all very Life Aquatic. I like how the metal sides of the submarine actually slide out of the way. They don’t just vanish like the walls of your house in The Sims. They deferentially get out of your way. And what better way to highlight the terror of a flooding sub than showing the water level rising around your hapless crew members?

The developers in Poland, Deep Water Studio, don’t list any former credits. So you’re taking a chance with a first-time developer. They cite a deal with publisher Playway to match whatever Kickstarter funds they make. Playway has a lot of trash in their catalog, but they appreciate the awkward charm in the Car Mechanic Simulation games, in which you play, yep, a car mechanic. It’s as ridiculous as it sounds. And oddly enough, it totally works.

Uboot sounds even more personal than FTL or Silent Hunter 5. To wit:

You will see the lives of grey wolves in all its glory. We will not add any colour or flavour to it, even if the toilet overflows.

Yep, that’s uh, awfully personal. The Sims Kriegsmarine career track. You can get in on Uboot’s Kickstarter campaign for $12.

The Elder Scroll IV: Oblivion’s horse armor was the paradigm shift no one expected

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Ten years ago, Bethesda Softworks looked at the growing market in gamerpics (remember those?) and background themes in the Xbox Marketplace for the Xbox 360 console, and wondered if people would purchase something similar in a videogame. If people were willing to buy a virtual drawing of a funny face for their profile, why wouldn’t they buy a pony dress in their game? Thus, The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion’s Horse Armor Pack DLC pack was born. A cosmetic bit of fluff for your in-game Oblivion steed, the content was originally sold for 200 Microsoft Points (remember those?) or $2.50. Although it became the poster-child of bad downloadable content, Bethesda pointed out that quite a lot of people bought it, even two years later.

To say the Horse Armor Pack was divisive would be an understatement. Some people felt very strongly that it was the death knell of gaming. They said it was a nickel-and-dime scam that piecemeal sold what should’ve been bundled in an expansion, or even given away for free as a mod. Others thought that it was no big deal. People would vote with their wallets and sanity would win out, tossing the “microtransaction” into the dustbin of history.

Horse Armor was neither as it turned out. It was the start of a revolution in the gaming industry. Far from killing gaming or going away quietly, it instead pointed the way forward. Whole companies and genres are built around this model of selling game content now. In fact, the argument over this experiment looks sort of quaint today. DLC is commonplace. One could even argue that the majority of gamers prefer to pay for their gaming experiences through DLC or microtransaction offers. After all, where would mobile gaming be without in-game purchases?

Hooray for Horse Armor! It changed gaming forever and gave us all a Godwin’s Law equivalent for DLC.

This is the look you’ll have when you play RollerCoaster Tycoon World

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That’s an in-game shot from RollerCoaster Tycoon World. My park guests could either be yawning at the game’s klunky performance on a decent PC, or they’re aghast that I’m playing this instead of a better game. It’s a mess. The game is in early access, so things could get better, but there’s a long way to go. As it stands now, it’s little more than a sparse sandbox park editor with a barely adequate tutorial mode coupled to art design that only barely looks as good as the full-featured RollerCoaster Tycoon 3 from 2004. The fact that the game is sorely unfinished didn’t stop the publisher, Atari, from boxing up a Steam code and tossing it up on retail shelves in some territories anyway.

Nvizzio Creations is the third studio that publisher Atari hired to take on the RollerCoaster Tycoon franchise after Pipeworks Software and Area 52 Games were both removed from the project. Nvizzio at least seems to be excited to work on the project and they’ve acknowledged that they have some work to do. Hopefully, Atari recognizes that there is an audience willing to support these modestly budgeted, but well-made, sandbox sims.

Frontier Developments, the studio that made the previous RollerCoaster Tycoon games for Atari, is busy developing their own theme park sim, Coaster Planet.

A realtime exploration of the real time strategy game, Battlefleet Gothic Armada

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If you’d like to check out Battlefield Gothic Armada in motion, join me as I explore issues like whether space torpedoes are any good, the real value of ships being able to turn quickly, and how many points are worth putting into your navigator’s skill. For maximum space porn, I recommend watching in HD.

If you like that video and would like more like it, please subscribe to the Quarter to Three Youtube channel, which is currently a work in progress, so pardon our dust.

The best defense is a good offense in Grim Dawn

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This is the best item in Grim Dawn, the action roleplaying game from Crate Entertainment. Oh, you may find an item of armor with better protection, or a weapon with a more damaging effect on the enemy, but this is going to be the standard by which all other items are judged. Why bother with thorns or some kind of flame aura when you can throw the ultimate insult? Veni vidi merda.

Grim Dawn is finally out of early access and is available for Windows PC on Steam.

The real explosions in Just Cause 3 are on the side of the screen

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Kaboom! Within minutes of starting Just Cause 3, you’ll be blowing up stuff with Rico Rodriguez’ explosive box of toys. You get sticky bombs, grenades, and an RPG to start with, then more fun later as you complete challenges and unlock more gear. Blammo! Speaking of challenges, what’s that text scrolling on the right of the display? Oh, no. This won’t do at all. SexyPanther121 has blown up more of the island nation of Medici. GottaBMe has snapped off more headshots on government troops. Blow4Deth has collected more sports cars. Can you para-glide higher than OmniButt? Yes! Now Jackalacka has blown up more news helicopters. Just Cause 3 doesn’t have cooperative multiplayer, but what it does have are live leaderboards that push you towards more acts of destruction. As if the explosions weren’t enough carrot on a stick to make you do things, they add leaderboards!

Just Cause 3 is available for the PlayStation 4, Xbox One, and Windows PC.

Top five tips for surviving Fallout 4

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The post-apocalyptic wasteland of Fallout 4 can be an unforgiving place. If you’re just popping out of a pre-war Vault, the radioactive territory can be quite a detriment to living. Here are some simple tips for making your way in the Boston area immediately after hitting the great outdoors.

After the jump, Radroaches are not delicious. Continue reading →

Call of Duty: Black Ops III’s coolest bit is also the lamest

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In Call of Duty: Black Ops III, you can choose to play either a male character portrayed by Ben Browder, or a female operative voiced and mo-capped by Abby Brammell. Hey, that’s neat, right? For the first time in Activision’s blockbuster shooter franchise, you can choose the gender of your main character in the campaign. If you decide to take a female through the weird and linear Black Ops III story, all the cinematics will show Abby Brammell being tough and badass because in 2065, cyber-enhanced super soldiers are all pretty much equally deadly.

How weak is it then that Call of Duty: Black Ops III goes through the trouble of offering a female main character, and then opts to refer to the player character as “Player” in the game? Throughout the tale of inter-connected consciousness and paranoid fantasy that Treyarch weaves, you are only ever Player. You don’t even get a call-sign like “Soap” or “Noob.” Christopher Meloni chews virtual scenery as John Talyor, and as bland as that name is, at least his character gets a name. They couldn’t even jazz it up by going with the more street-savvy “Playa” giving you some identity. Player please!

Hasbo’s Game of Life: Spin to Win supports gay marriage

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The only things I remember about Life, the Hasbro boardgame that’s nearly as awful as Monopoly, is 1) the spinner in the middle of the board means never having to roll dice, and 2) you put blue and pink pegs in your car to represent family members. Blue represented dudes, pink represented chicks. Based on my recollections, the recently released Game of Life: Spin to Win videogame is a faithful recreation of the boardgame. It’s got a big spinner in the middle of the board and you accumulate pegs as you play. You start out as one peg on a scooter, you graduate to two spouse pegs in a sedan, and then you end up in a minivan with child pegs in the back seat.

But what I didn’t realize is that when it comes time for your peg to take a spouse, you can pick whether your spouse is a blue peg or a pink peg, regardless of your own peg color. So there’s my gay wedding up there, which happened because when I was picking a spouse, I thought I was telling the game the color of my own peg. Oops. There’s no divorce in the Game of Life, and I’m a pretty progressive guy, so I just rolled with it. Later, my husband and I flipped a city penthouse for a $100,000 profit, then we lost the money in a pool of lava, and we adopted a son who was delivered by helicopter. Somewhere along the way, I switched careers from farmer to brain surgeon. C’est la Life!

What Game of Life: Spin to Win, which carries the “family friendly” tag on Steam, absolutely won’t tolerate is bachelors. Marriage is mandatory. Now that’s family friendly!