As long as there has been games, there have been cheat codes. Whether it’s a programming tool left in by the original creators or a secret meant for some overzealous fan to find, cheats are still as popular as ever. But there are still some that haven’t yet been discovered. Until now. Here’s some of our favorite undiscovered cheat codes for you guys to try out at home!
After the jump, we get our cheat on.
Cheat Name: MY GUMS ARE BLEEDING
What it does: We all know that scurvy was a serious issue with the seafaring set of days gone by, but our popular culture tends to leave that side of the pirating ways out of any serious art or depiction. Not any more. With this cheat, it’s amazing you can understand what any of the main characters are saying through the spray of infected blood issuing forth from spongy, bloody gums. Historical accuracy at its finest!
How to activate: Whisper into your Kinect or PS Headset the following phrase: “Shiver me timbers. And by timbers I mean the roots of me teeth.”
Cheat Name: Station Agent
What it does: This cheat is pretty fantastic! It changes most aspects of the game. It replaces the three base classes and adds a fourth, changes the aesthetic of the game and is available right NOW!
How to activate: Purchase Borderlands 2 and place in console
Cheat Name: Tooth Fairy
What it does: This cheat replaces all of the enemies in the game with Brian Cox.
How to activate: Play the game next to some blood in the moonlight. It will look quite black.
Cheat Name: Society
What it does: This cheat forces most of the people left on the planet to become militant psychos that prey on everyone and everything at the drop of a hat.
How to activate: Play the game or watch the show
Cheat Name: Missionary Man
What it does: You were born of the original sinner. Makes everyone’s divinity slightly less divine.
How to activate: Open DVD drive tray, sprinkle liberally with MSG.
Cheat Name: Dad’s Home
What it does: Everyone knows Joel is a badass that goes non-stop shithouse, but it’s easy to forget he was a dad before the outbreak. With this cheat enabled, Joel tells really bad jokes and every execution is replaced by the victim being forced to pull Joels finger.
How to activate: Plug in your PS camera and stand in front of it very, very still. After 1, 476 seconds, scream tarantula at the top of your lungs and plunge towards the PS4. If it flinches, the cheat worked.
Cheat Name: Night Moves
What it does: This classic cheat was just brought to our attention, so I decided to try it out. I had much success! This cheat changes the Van Halen version of Guitar Hero into Guitar hero: Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band. You can hear “all the cliches – is that a woman or a man” and “try to lose the awkward teenaged blues.”
How to activate: Turn on all the lights in your house and stand in front of your console. As soon as you see the home screen, you need to try to give away every ounce of your energy. You’ll know it worked if you feel a million miles away. It’s also quite possible that the sweat will pour out your body like the music that you play. YMMV.