Archive for May 21st, 2012

, | Games

Tentacle rape does not exist. It is a fantasy, like women wearing high heels in bed, hot chicks banging pizza delivery boys, condomless impersonal consequence-free sex, and orcs. Like many fantasies, tentacle rape will appeal to some adults. I don’t pretend to understand that particular kink, but as someone with his own kinks (Is it too much information to mention Sarah Palin here?), I’m not going to judge someone else’s fantasy.

Not all folks are that accommodating. For instance, Luke Plunkett at Kotaku and Brandon Sheffield at Insert Credit, both of whom are intelligent writers with lots of insight into and experience with the fantasy worlds of videogaming. According to circumstantial evidence, they were instrumental in getting Kickstarter to cancel the funding campaign for Tentacle Bento. Plunkett and Sheffield both objected to Kickstarter allowing the project, which is a tabletop card game with a tentacle rape theme.

After the jump, the writhing powerful clutches of moral outrage Continue reading →

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, | Games

This week’s wallet threat level is as low as it is mainly because Defender Chronicles II is so cheap and Mario Tennis is so specific. But they’re both quite good. Defender Chronicles II for the iPhone is a ridiculously generous and long-term investment in tower defense RPGing, even more generous and more long-term than the original. So one of the best tower defense games you can play on any platform just got better. Mario Tennis Open for the Nintendo 3DS is one of those games I like in spite of the Mario goofiness. It’s not just enthusiastic and colorful. It combines the slickness of Virtua Tennis with the finesse of the Top Spin series.

I find Dragon’s Dogma a real chore so far. Capcom has assembled a collection of bad choices, from ugly world building to awkward combat to a wretched party system to the very name. I haven’t played such a “what were they thinking?” game in a while.

Also out this week is Ghost Recon: Future Soldier.

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, | Movie podcasts

We watch Battleship so you don’t have to. And then Kelly Wand administers a Liam Neeson synopsis takedown. This week’s 3×3, which starts at the 46-minute mark in case you want to avoid Battleship spoilers, is our choice of movies that triumph over silly stuff like Magneto’s hat in those X-Men movies.

Next week: Chernobyl Diaries

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, | Features

The thing about Trials Evolution is that you can cheese your way through certain levels by stumbling past a checkpoint here and there. You feel yourself starting to lose control of the bike, you’re tipping over the handlebars after clearing a particularly difficult incline and you think you’re going to have to start over yet again. But wait! There’s the next checkpoint marker! You’re falling forward. Will you plant your rider’s face in the asphalt, or like a sprinter straining for the tape will you nose across the marker and turn it green before the crash indicator flashes? That’s not cheating. You take a fault and move on to the next stage. Not perfect, but legit. But sometimes…

The thing about Neosphere, this week’s Trials Evolution community track, is that it never let me cheese the checkpoints. Or rather, it didn’t let me feel okay about it. I’m thinking in particular about a checkpoint I call The Guillotine One. I crashed as I cleared that every single time because I just couldn’t finesse the throttle properly. The game, feeling sorry for me, let me continue as if I’d really cleared it, but deep down I knew I hadn’t. I’d cheesed it, and if a track is really good, you just won’t settle for cheesing it.

Neosphere was designed by DrittesAuge.

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