The screenshots for King’s Empire, a free-to-play social boondoggle for the iPhone from the creator of Island Empire and Galaxy Empire, feature women who look all coy about the suggestive text. Who me? What, these? You’re not fooling anyone, ladies. Furthermore, the iTune Stores recommends King’s Empire isn’t appropriate for anyone under 12 because of its infrequent/mild nudity, sexual content, and suggestive themes.
Wait a minute, do we go on three, or after three? Playing Rhythm Heaven Fever, I feel a bit like Elizabeth Berkley in that scene in Showgirls where she first joins the show. The rehearsal swirls around her and she looks ridiculous and out of place because director Paul Verhoeven probably has as much contempt for her as Rhythm Heaven Fever has for me.
After the jump, why am I actually playing it then? Continue reading →
Every time I get into the groove of Kingdoms of Amalur, something shoves a stick in my spokes. Just wandering through the world and discovering new locations is a thrill. The game is littered with enemies to encounter and places to explore. The combat is exciting. All of these things go into making a successful game, but something isn’t right.
What’s missing, after the jump Continue reading →
The dwarven life cycle starts with diamonds, which is kind of like real life. Diamonds come from mines. Well, some mines. You might instead find rubies, sapphires, and emeralds. Save these for later. For now, you need diamonds for the Dvala, which is what you call a dwarf queen. She wants diamonds before she’ll put out. Lots of diamonds.
After the jump, everything you always wanted to know about dwarf sex but were afraid to ask Continue reading →
Epic Quest is an easy table, with relatively simple mechanics and a reluctance to let go of the ball. Serious pinballers might find it too easy as their games drag out into virtually risk-free sessions of grinding away at a high score. The rest of us will appreciate the chance to wrap our flippers around a table as if we were serious pinballers ourselves.
Then of course, there’s the gimmick, which is a formidable one indeed.
After the jump, bat country! Let’s stop here! Continue reading →
