In another Lovecraft themed iPhone game (that isn’t very good) called Necronomicon, I’ve had the most luck pairing a lunatic with a shotgun and just letting the cards roll out. It’s a bit like trench warfare, with cultists, monsters, shoggoths, Old Ones, and so forth dying in suicidal charges against my lunatic and his shotgun. Cthulhu’s Verdun.
But in this game, Ashcan Pete has amply demonstrated that a hobo and a shotgun are only as good as the handfuls of dice they roll. Since his disastrous showing, things haven’t gotten much better.
After the jump, can we snatch victory from the flabby maw of defeat? Continue reading →
That’s not Richard Garriott up there, but I can’t show you a still from the sci-fi movie he wrote, directed, and starred in. No one can. Because NASA has put the kibosh on it, unlike the movie Apollo 18, which accuses NASA of spreading sentient moonrocks around the world in a bid for, uh, world domination? I’m not clear on that part of the movie Apollo 18, which wasn’t written by, directed by, or starring Richard Garriott, but it did take place in space. The difference is that Garriott’s movie was actually shot in space during his $30 million stint as a space tourist.
Garriott’s space movie is news to me. I know he was promoting whatever that MMO was at the time that had his name attached. But he also made an eight-minute short, starring himself and some local talent (i.e. astronauts). However, NASA hasn’t given him clearance to, I dunno, post it on YouTube or whatever he would do with it. Garriott insists NASA doesn’t have ulterior motives, and he speculates that it’s just a matter of the levity not being appropriate. But that’s exactly what he would say if he was trying to deflect suspicion from an organization spreading sentient moonrocks in a bid for world domination that didn’t want their plot inadvertently exposed by something you might be able to see in the background of Garriott’s footage.
I’m here to piss on your day. Not intentionally, mind you, but a dose of reality is in order here. You see, I was once like you, single. Or maybe you got a girlfriend who lives on the other side of town and you just whispered “I love you, miss you, wish you were here.” And you dream about the day you’ll have a girl of your choosing, married, ring on the finger and a couple little rugrats running around. Stop dreaming. Feel that? It’s raining and there’s not a cloud in the sky. Let me tell you what you won’t be doing when your dreams come true; joining in on a ten man raid, going up against another Riot inspired OP champ, saving Arkham City, exploring the Sword Coast, blasting every Zed in sight, doing something badass in Skyrim…you get the idea. Enjoy yourself now, because lemme tell you, when you’re finally old enough to get married and have a bunch of kids or two, it’s all over. It’s all over! I can not stress that enough.
So, I’m gonna take you through a week in the life of a gamer with a wife and children. For the first entry we’ll start with, hmmm…how ’bout Monday?
After the jump, reality beckons Continue reading →
The real divide this week has nothing to do with Xavier Gens’ horrible post-apocalyptic sci-fi horror movie, The Divide. The real divide takes place during this week’s 3×3 of running gags, which begins at the 53-minute mark, and eventually explores the difficult issue of whether Hudson Hawk or Armageddon is the better bad movie.
Next week: Haywire
Podcast (movies): Play in new window | Download
Subscribe:
