I have no desire to play Saints Row 3 as that dude up there, who I downloaded from the community gallery. I didn’t make him, I don’t care about him, I don’t like his voice, and lords knows I’ve played enough dudes like that in Modern Warfare 3 and Battlefield 3. But one of the achievements in Saints Row 3 is called Gender Equality. You unlock it by playing at least two hours as a dude and two hours as a chick. I’ve logged over forty hours as a chick, so now I’m doing my term of service as a dude. See? Gender equality. But after two hours, that guy is outta here.
By the way, if you haven’t experienced the charms of the Thompson helicopter (pictured), I recommend it. You can find one on the back of the cargo ship near Kenzie’s pad. What a lovely nimble little minx. The helicopter isn’t bad either.
One of the new additions in Anno 2070 is underwater gameplay. My concern at first was that an entirely new layer of gameplay could be more trouble than it’s worth. What is there to do down there? How does it relate to the above-water game? Is it feature creep or an exciting new level of gameplay?
After the jump, dive, dive, dive! Continue reading →
After killing a horse, I pick flowers for a bit on my way back to not-vikings town and then decide to just fast travel. This town is really kind of a pain to get around, but I find my way back to the throne room in time to hear all about how a dragon has been seen, blah blah, I’m supposed to go help. No thank you, sir! Instead, I think I’ll wander around taking everything I can find that’s worth something and/or food. For whatever reason 99% of the stuff in here is free to take! That is awesome! I have a particular penchant for taking foodstuffs, so I load up on potatoes and carrots. You never know when you’re going to need to break out a really awesome stew in the wilderness, but to my dismay I keep getting overloaded and have to drop kettles in hallways. Even though I can take most things freely, I still decide to steal the things that are off limits in display cases. I’m pretty damn good at that unlock game.
Eventually I’ve bankrupted the people that live there and I head outside where I run immediately into a little girl that tells me in a really snotty tone that she’s not afraid of me even though I’m her elder.
After the jump, I punch the brat in the face. Continue reading →
Fortune Street is no Monopoly. It’s actually a serious — you know, serious — boardgame. Don’t be fooled by the occasional minigame and Nintendo characters like Birdoe, Mushroomhead Guy, Princess Peachley, Doofus, Doogie, Hocker, Loogey, and Luigi. They’re just window dressing in an earnest mix of market speculation, real estate development, risk management, and die rolls with an occasional Candyland style slide when you least expect it. What’s more, Fortune Street doesn’t rely on the crazy turns of fortune that frequently upend Culdcept or Dorkapon Kingdoms*. Fortune Street wants it to be your fault when you lose, so it relies on 80% careful calculation and 20% luck. Fortune Street isn’t fooling around.
After the jump, this ain’t no Monopoly
* I know it’s not actually called that, but I can’t help myself.
Continue reading →
