I’m a casual Modern Warfare 3 player, so this isn’t going to be a list of stuff about how the 7.62mm round from a Dragunov spins clockwise so it should pull more to the right over greater distances. In military parlance, that’s called a slice. Besides, everyone knows the Dragunov doesn’t fire a 7.62mm round. Duh.
Instead, this is just a layman who really likes Modern Warfare 3 grousing about a couple of things that would make him like it even better.
After the jump, I tell Activision how to run their business Continue reading →
I started playing this game on a dare. “Hey, Tom,” I said to myself, “I dare you to play whatever this Fusion: Genesis thing is that Microsoft just sent you. If only to see what kind of game it is. With a name like that, it’s got to be awful, right?” Since I’m such an insufferable pest, I finally relented just to shut myself up.
After the jump, the joke’s on me Continue reading →
I’m surrounded by beautiful terrain. A brook babbles idly as I stalk through the bush. I’ve been following this party of Imperials for the last half mile. They have a Stormcloak captive that is, most likely, bound for a rather unpleasant evening. I was in that same place not too long ago and I can’t let a fellow rebel meet that fate.
I’m a few dozen yards away from my prey. I can almost taste their acrid clothing, coated with days of road dirt and hardship. The prisoner stumbles, prompting the guards to halt. I’m close enough now to hear them speak. Oh my God, what the hell is that?
I’m no longer in the woods; I’m in my living room. The illusion is completely gone. When the guard opened his mouth, it sounded like Arnold Schwarzenegger’s “slow” cousin. We went from Patrick Stewart to this?
Now that’s not to say the entire game is voiced poorly, it isn’t, but there are quite a few moments that range from odd to flat out laughable. I suppose this next bit could be considered a spoiler, but it’s a spoiler in the same way that saying there’s a Thieves Guild in the Elder Scrolls games. The leader of the Thieves Guild in this game sounds like he suffers from an angry version of VI.
That being said, Skyrim is on my short list for Game of the Year. Thank God it does just about everything else right.
Tarsem, the director of The Cell and The Fall, needed all three of his names to make Immortals, his first movie without a definite article. Our opinions are divided on how well that worked out. In the above shot, Immortals would be the guy on the right in the funny hat. Tom is yelling and snapping a fire whip at it. Dingus is to the far left, enthralled and wearing a princess costume because he will mention Tangled at least once on this podcast. Kellywand is crouched indecisively between them. We aren’t sure who that fourth guy is, the one over there with Dingus. He can be you, the listener.
This week’s 3×3 is hero survival rip-offs. You know those moments when the hero totally should have died, but didn’t? That’s what these are. Join us for the discussion around about the 1:20:00 mark.
Up next week: Martha Marcy May Marlene
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