Not the actual games, of course. That will have to wait. This is just the titles of the games.
After the jump, the best and worst of 2011
The best of 2011
Sometimes it seems like all the good game names have been taken. These ten games prove otherwise.
10) Orcs Must Die
How strident! But I certainly agree.
9) All Zombies Must Die
Way to one-up the thing about the orcs! But I have to ask: all of them? Also, while I’m being literal, do zombies really die?
8) Rift
Short, concise, and descriptive of what makes this MMO unique when all other MMOs are the same. Now if I can just get myself to stop calling it “Rifts”.
7) Mindjack
Short, concise, descriptive, and a verb. As in, “Dude, I am totally going to mindjack you!”. Fortunately, no one remembers Freejack.
6) God Eater: Burst
I like how it’s not clear what the relationship is between the two parts of this title. Is a guy named Burst eating gods? Or is that what happens when you eat a god? I suspect the mostly likely scenario is that none of these words has anything to do with the actual game.
5) Catherine
I still have no idea what was going on in Catherine beyond those godawful block climbing puzzles. But I like that the game is called that. Like hurricanes, more games need to be given women’s names.
4) From Dust
Now that’s the way to name an indie game! A little hint of Shakespeare and the Bible, but not too overt.
3) Child of Eden
Okay, so not quite as subtle as From Dust, but still good.
2) Insanely Twisted Shadow Planet
Twisted Metal only went halfway. When something is insanely twisted, you have to see what the deal is.
1) A Valley without Wind
What the…? Okay, I’m sold. I think the concept is that some sort of apocalypse wind is blowing around the world, so you have to build up a sheltered area. I like it. And although I hated the acronym at first — AVWW just looks like a bunch of diagonal lines shoved into each other — now I love it for how it looks like a mountain range, all peaks and valleys.
The worst of 2011
These games make me glad I don’t have to think up a game title. Because I’m pretty sure I would come up with something like these.
13) Brink
What an edgy name. Get it? Edgy? Get it?
12) Rage
Really? An internet meme for ineffectual anger is going to be your game’s name? Even Brink is an edgier name than this.
11) Renegade Ops
This team-based tactical mil-sim features nearly 60 weapons modeled after real-world firearms. Configure your loadout. Unlock perks as you play. Online support for up to 32 players.
10) Crimson Alliance
This team-based tactical mil-sim features nearly 60 weapons modeled after real-world firearms. Configure your loadout. Unlock perks as you play. Online support for up to 32 players.
9) Bastion
This team-based tactical mil-sim features nearly 60 weapons modeled after real-world firearms. Configure your loadout. Unlock perks as you play. Online support for up to 32 players.
8) Dungeons
Is there a videogame just called Dragons? Just plain old Dragons?
7) Dungeon Defender
Dungeon Siege established that sometimes people want desperately to get into a dungeon. So it’s a given that someone will have to defend the dungeon.
6) Cities in Motion
This makes me think the city is actually going somewhere. Or it’s a fitness program to get the city in shape just in time for bikini season.
5) 3rd Birthday
By Fisher Price.
4) El Shaddai: Ascension of the Metatron
This isn’t a real game title, of course. I just made it up and put it in here to keep you on your toes.
3) Achron
If you’re over 30, you thought it said Archon, right? If you’re under 30, you wondered why someone would make a game about a town in Ohio.
2) Hard Reset
The videogame title most likely to have also been a Jean Claude van Damme movie.
1) Pokemon: Rumble Blast
Because the gastrointestinal undertones of Pokemon: Burrito Aftermath weren’t subtle enough.