Archive for July 26th, 2011

I keep getting licked — literally — by a giant butt with a tongue coming out of a toothy maw where the genitals should be.

This is Catherine’s main claim to gameplay. Not specifically the be-tongued butt, but this timed puzzle sequence in which I have to climb a wall of sliding cubes. It’s a clever enough concept, but you have to play it for a while to wrap your head around it. Unfortunately, Catherine affords me no such opportunity. It gives me tutorial tips and occasional videos suggesting strategies for pushing, pulling, and re-arranging blocks. Think of Catherine as an exponentially complicated crate puzzle, dropped infrequently into a drawn-out series of JRPG dialogues. If you just play normally, like a game that’s telling a story, you might find that you haven’t quite wrapped your head around these puzzles. At which point a butt tongue has just licked you for the tenth time.

I could practice. But I don’t like the game enough to practice it. There are very few games I’ll practice. Personally, if I’m going play something over and over to get better at it, it’s got to offer…well, more than what Catherine offers.

After the jump, how I beat the butt Continue reading →

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While on the hunt for ice cream, the Dispensables passed through San Mona. While most towns in Arulco are initially held by Queen Deidranna, San Mona is a mob-run town, led by a man named Kingpin.

The Dispensables’ first stop upon entering town was the local watering hole, run by one of Kingpin’s henchmen, named Darren. He asks if I’m there for the extreme fighting competition. Why yes, I do happen to have a mercenary trained in hand-to-hand combat.

After the jump: Mantis gets made Continue reading →

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