When I first learned that my wife was pregnant, I knew that my life was going to change. And it has, even in the most mundane ways. Going to the grocery store now requires D-Day level planning and preparation. Buying a taco sets off an internal fiscal debate. A slight temperature deviation in our apartment means frantically dialing down radiators or cranking up space heaters.
I was less prepared for the personal changes. Sure, there are the usual things like a sense of responsibility more potent than ever and an ineffable love that swells each time I look at the twins. But the surprises come from the smaller stuff. Like the fact that my burning hatred of scatological humor has mellowed after months of my kids’ boisterous and unrestrained flatulence. Or that my rock solid faith in the medical profession has crumbled thanks to the parade of obstetric and pediatric bozos we’ve dealt with since the births.
And then there are two recent revelations that came to me through games.
After the jump, friend becomes foe and man becomes mental. Continue reading →
I was going to try to come up with some sort of clever title for this week’s post, but how can I possibly top the name of the game itself? “The Fish Dies in the End” Rarely does a game put forth such brutal honesty right there on the title screen. The game’s developer, who goes by “bandidoquest” on the forums, recently posted that the game was finally finished and available. It was his first game, and he was looking for feedback. I am, if nothing else, chock full of feedback.
After the jump: If it’s feedback you want, then feedback you shall have! Continue reading →
We don’t really do reader mail on this site because, frankly, we don’t get any reader mail. But when someone writes me some literature, I can’t resist sharing it. The following poem, titled “Your review is so garbage” was written by murut87, who shared it on 1up in response to my Patapon 3 review.
Your review is so garbage.
Oh man,here`s come Tom Chicken…..
Your review is so awful,i didn`t have problems on this game,really addictive game but you are worst.
The reason why we all hate your review:
Your review is so awful.
Your review are not-understandable.
Your review are so junk.
You not playing this game…..instead,you just watching….and then you review it suck.
Your rating a totally complete bullcrap.
Thats all i can say,your review are worst than my cat.
The only thing that would make this poem better is a picture of the aforementioned cat.
While trying to get a handle on one of the cars in Shift 2, I fired up the first Shift to see how it felt in that game. It felt pretty much the same, which was no surprise. I had confirmed that, yep, Shift 1 still felt great. The guys at Slightly Mad Studios get how to model the feel of a car — whatever the heck that’s supposed to mean — better than anyone else, so that was no surprise.
But what surprised me while playing Shift 1, which is a good-looking game, is how much better Shift 2 actually looks. My brain remembered Shift 1 looking awesome. But now, to my eyes, it doesn’t look as good as Shift 2. You can’t trust your brain and your eyes to get along. They’re often at odds.
After the jump, putting one right in the brain Continue reading →
Link trudges south across a beige flatland, his shield hoisted. Scuttling about him are Octoroks, red cephalopods with a cannon maw that identifies them as cross-catalogue cousins to Mario’s Birdo. The Hero of Hyrule draws his sword and prepares to join battle. Before he does, a greenish gray smog descends over the land. The heroic music chokes and stutters. My older brother and I moan. Our Hyrule is buggy, prone to armageddons of corrupted data. My brother yanks the cartridge from the NES and blows on the circuitboard like he’s playing harmonica, then slots it back in. I watch eagerly, waiting for Hyrule to return.
Since then, just one other game has enthralled me like that. The game was Link to the Past, because it was the first Zelda I was old enough to play instead of watch. Of the handful of other games to come close, most were Zelda sequels: Link’s Awakening in green monochrome on my half-brick Game Boy; Ocarina of Time, Wind Waker, and Twilight Princess.
Twilight Princess came out five years ago. In the meantime I’ve gotten tired of gaming.
After the jump, I’m getting too old for this Continue reading →
