Archive for April 18th, 2011

New dad diaries: protips for new parents

, | Game diaries

It’s amazing how much you can learn about caring for twins in four months. You can go from a complete novice afraid of breaking his children and hopeless at diaper changes to a complete novice afraid of breaking his children who changes diapers like a champ.

If you’re also a gamer, you can pick up a few tips along the way to help you squeeze in a little more screen time and maximize your enjoyment. Consider these best practices for the baby set, whether you’ve got multiples or a singleton on the way.

After the jump, three tips for choosing the best games for your new circumstances. Continue reading →

Reported! I have no idea what rape has to do with my puppet!

, | Games

There is no face with proportionate palm expansive enough to express the internet tactical error repeatedly committed by rajah sulayman, a hyper-defensively sincere yet profoundly naive photographer of cute homeless girls, himself, and puppets (no really, puppets ). Sorry raj , the internet has a will and way of its own and internet bullying has always been this bad. “Was (impending forum) ‘rape’ the first thing to pop into your head?” It was when I read the titles to all of your threads, man!

More schadenfreude after the seitesprung! Continue reading →

Dissidia 012: you, sir, are no Mortal Kombat

, | Game diaries

I’ve had Dissidia 012 for about a month now, and I’ve put in probably fifty-odd hours on it. This in itself isn’t unusual; I tend to play every Final Fantasy game to unhealthy levels. My Final Fantasy X final save came in at 140 hours, at least 60 of which were spent playing the Blitzball minigame. I have yet to finish Final Fantasy XII in under 120 hours. I’ve beaten it four times.

But Dissidia 012 is a little different for me. It’s a fighting game. I don’t really like fighting games. Is it just the fanservice that’s kept me playing it?

After the jump, it’s past time for hustling middle schoolers Continue reading →

Stalker: Call of Pripyat: the end of the line

, | Game diaries

Wait, really? Has it happened? Crap, I think it has: I’ve reached the point where I’m thinking more about other games than I am about this one. Damn. It’s not uncommon for me to become more interested in something else before I finish a particular game. My playing time is pretty limited these days, and once I feel like I’ve ‘gotten’ a game, it’s hard for me to keep playing it if there are newer, sexier, more interesting games available.

But I really want to finish this one. I want to put a bow on it and feel closure with my Stalker experience. But…when will closure come? It’s not like a book, where you can see you only have a hundred pages left. Games are pretty damn opaque, cues-wise. I’ve made it to Pripyat, the third (final?) area of the game, but have no way of knowing how much more game there is. My Steam game page says I’ve played for 16 hours (holy cow!), and that’s a bit less than the total time I’ve heard others report, so I should be wrapping it up soon. I think I’ll focus on critical path missions, and ignore side content.

After the jump, my issues are back Continue reading →

NASCAR 2011 addresses backflips and corruption

, | Games

I’ve been eying with curiosity a copy of Nascar 2011 for the Xbox 360 sitting here on my desk. Not that I’ve ever played a Nascar game, but my recent wheeltime with Shift 2 has me wondering if I’m missing anything. Millions of fans can’t be wrong, can they?

However, it sounds like the game might be in slightly rough shape, based on a press release about an upcoming patch. The list of fixes is one of those lists that makes me wonder why those things have to be fixed in the first place. They released it like that? Of course, I don’t really know Nascar, so I can’t make heads nor tails of some of that stuff. For instance, one of the fixes:

Ensure only Carl Edwards performs a back flip

Driver unique gymnastics moves! Among the bugs being addressed:

Truex Jr. & Bill Elliott being corrupt during celebrations

Sauron, man.

April 18, 2011: wallet threat level 8

, | Games

Section 8: Prejudice goes live this week on Xbox Live Arcade. It’s not much of a wallet threat, because it’s only $15*. But it is much of a wallet threat because Section 8 is so awesome. There’s plenty of new stuff in here to satisfy us Section 8 junkies, and plenty of core awesomeness to satisfy anyone who plays shooters. Graphics whores need not apply, but they’re probably still marveling at shiny things in Crysis 2 anyway.

You’re probably psyched for Portal 2, and you should be. It loses a little of the first game’s heart by going bigger, longer, and deeper. But Portal minus a little heart is still a fine game. Stay tuned here for a special guest and something not unlike a game diary.

Mortal Kombat: No Subtitle or Number Needed is also out this week. You’ve been playing the demo, right? Me either. SOCOM 4 goes live. The single player is nothing to write home about (“Dear Mother, other than the annoying stealth missions, it’s business as usual on the front — heavy scripting, bad story, unremarkable guns — but at least my teammates are competent.”). I do look forward to seeing how the multiplayer shakes out; developer Zipper Interactive’s last game, MAG, was a work of genius.

Get your heiny** to Mars in Pinball FX 2 this week. The Mars table is old news for folks who play Zen Pinball on the Playstation 3, but it’s a good table, with great sci-fi flavor and a forgiving layout. Next week, we get a whole new table with Sorcerer’s Lair. Paranormal — one of my favorite Zen Pinball tables — is due out “in the near future”.

Finally, Conduit 2 comes out if you’re that rare breed of shooter fan who only has a Wii. Why do you only have a Wii? Well, at least you’re finally getting a game with a proper multiplayer horde mode.

* do your own spacebuck math
** Pinball FX 2 is rated E for everyone