Starcraft II, game six: S.U.I.

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The game is Starcraft II played in a series of 1v1 matches, with the winner being the first to four victories. The map is Metalopolis, which features four starting positions behind narrow ramps, and two gold mineral expansions in the center. The races are randomly determined, just like real life generals. The players are Tom Chick, ranked 5th in his division in the silver league, and Kelly Wand, who has one of those dragon icons in Warcraft III but hasn’t even played the stupid campaign in Starcraft II.

The score so far: Tom: 3, Kelly: 2

Game six, after the jump

from Tom Chick [[email protected]]
to Kelly Wand [[email protected]]
date Thu, Jan 13, 2011 at 7:49pm
subject TvK game five screens
Hey, if you have time tonight, can I trouble you to grab three or four screenshots from the game five replay? I didn’t get around to it today and it’s almost time for Shoot Club, which will probably go late. I’ll set up the post after everyone leaves, but it’ll help if you can grab us some images.

Also, what game are we doing next month? Civ IV Dune Wars. Rdy?

-T


from Kelly Wand [[email protected]]
to Tom Chick [[email protected]]
date Thu, Jan 13, 2011 at 7:51pm
subject RE: TvK game five screens

Yeah, I’ll do it now, stand by.


from Kelly Wand [[email protected]]
to Tom Chick [[email protected]]
date Thu, Jan 13, 2011 at 8:29pm
subject RE: TvK game five screens

Here, bra. Had another idea for a piece: games I wish they’d make sequels to but know they won’t. Like Magic Carpet.

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh……


fromTom Chick [[email protected]]
to Kelly Wand [[email protected]]
date Fri, Jan 14, 2011 at 3:24am
subject RE: TvK game five screens

Thanks for the screens. You’re a lifesaver. Also, I’m tipsy from three glasses of wine. We should play Starcraft 2 right now!

Also also, you should totally do that article. No joke. “Six sequels that will never happen” is total linkbait and a great opportunity for you to fuck around and write whatever you like. Expect me to hound you about that in teh futare.

-T


from Kelly Wand [[email protected]]
to Tom Chick [[email protected]]
date Fri, Jan 14, 2011 at 3:27am
subject RE: TvK game five screens

yeah starcraft rdy…


from Tom Chick [[email protected]]
to Kelly Wand [[email protected]]
date Fri, Jan 14, 2011 at 3:28am
subject RE: TvK game five screens

I don’t know if you’re joking, but I will totally play the next game with you after I queue up this article and have a beer. No joke. I will play tipsy. That is no lie.

-T


from Kelly Wand [[email protected]]
to Tom Chick [[email protected]]
date Fri, Jan 14, 2011 at 3:29am
subject RE: TvK game five screens

You drink beer after wine? Lolz. Yeah, 3:45 rdy? Or whenever.


from Tom Chick [[email protected]]
to Kelly Wand [[email protected]]
date Fri, Jan 14, 2011 at 3:30am
subject RE: TvK game five screens

Well, the wine ran out b/c everyone drank it. Jerks.

Cutting and pasting stuff in Word Press. Word Pressing. WordPressin’. Pressing werdz. Stand by.

-T


from Kelly Wand [[email protected]]
to Tom Chick [[email protected]]
date Fri, Jan 14, 2011 at 3:31am
subject RE: TvK game five screens

I think you need to go back to weed. I’ll bring some to Shoot Club, rdy…


from Tom Chick [[email protected]]
to Kelly Wand [[email protected]]
date Fri, Jan 14, 2011 at 3:34am
subject RE: TvK game five screens

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, there’s no more beer. Only cider, which tastes like cat pee. Is there alcohol in cider?


from Kelly Wand [[email protected]]
to Tom Chick [[email protected]]
date Fri, Jan 14, 2011 at 3:35am
subject RE: TvK game five screens

So you’re not tipsy and can’t get tipsy and this was all a ruse. Huh jerk.


from Tom Chick [[email protected]]
to Kelly Wand [[email protected]]
date Fri, Jan 14, 2011 at 3:38am
subject RE: TvK game five screens

You should hope I’m not tipsy. I play way better tipsy. I totally get “in the zone” and I “dominate” all “comers”. You will get “pwned”. Totally”.”

Sizing up screenshots and pasting them into an article. Stand by to get totalypwned, as I call it.

-T


from Tom Chick [[email protected]]
to Kelly Wand [[email protected]]
date Fri, Jan 14, 2011 at 3:42am
subject RE: TvK game five screens

Also, the cider is awful. I’m going to have another one just to be sure. I think it’s got alcohol. That’s what hard cider means, right? Heh, hard.


from Tom Chick [[email protected]]
to Kelly Wand [[email protected]]
date Fri, Jan 14, 2011 at 3:49am
subject RE: TvK game five screens

I just belched. Write that down.


from Kelly Wand [[email protected]]
to Tom Chick [[email protected]]
date Fri, Jan 14, 2011 at 3:50am
subject RE: TvK game five screens

I’m going to post this whole e-mail chain under a new heading called “Things Tom Insists Everyone Should Be Aware Of.”


from Tom Chick [[email protected]]
to Kelly Wand [[email protected]]
date Fri, Jan 14, 2011 at 3:55am
subject RE: TvK game five screens

Hey, these are good screens! I can tell you specifically picked out some good moments. Good work! ILY.


from Tom Chick [[email protected]]
to Kelly Wand [[email protected]]
date Fri, Jan 14, 2011 at 4:03am
subject RE: TvK game five screens

Blearrrghhhhh. That was me burping cider. Seriously, though, who drinks this stuff? Ugh.


from Kelly Wand [[email protected]]
to Tom Chick [[email protected]]
date Fri, Jan 14, 2011 at 4:04am
subject RE: TvK game five screens

Don’t forget the one of my mutalisks


from Kelly Wand [[email protected]]
to Tom Chick [[email protected]]
date Fri, Jan 14, 2011 at 4:07am
subject RE: TvK game five screens

The “wages of sin” 3rd act of Boogie Nights/Shoot Club. Huh.


from Tom Chick [[email protected]]
to Kelly Wand [[email protected]]
date Fri, Jan 14, 2011 at 4:12am
subject RE: TvK game five screens

Finished pasting screens in. Quick last minute check then heading to Skype. Finishing second cider. Which doesn’t taste like cat pee so much as cough syrup that someone poured cat pee into.


from Kelly Wand [[email protected]]
to Tom Chick [[email protected]]
date Fri, Jan 14, 2011 at 4:13am
subject RE: TvK game five screens

UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


from Tom Chick [[email protected]]
to Kelly Wand [[email protected]]
date Fri, Jan 14, 2011 at 4:15am
subject RE: TvK game five screens

Skyping u but u R not there. Imma get another cider which will make me kick ur ass harder. Get on Skype dickweed.


from Kelly Wand [[email protected]]
to Tom Chick [[email protected]]
date Fri, Jan 14, 2011 at 4:16am
subject RE: TvK game five screens

cumming…


from Tom Chick [[email protected]]
to Kelly Wand [[email protected]]
date Fri, Jan 14, 2011 at 4:32am
subject RE: TvK game five screens

That game didn’t coun’t

Tom: 3, Kelly: 3

Previously: Game one, game two, game three, game four, game five
Up next: the final game

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