Bonecraft cumming soon

Posted by on January 12, 2011 in Games

Did I really just type cumming? Tom told me he was trying to elevate the tone around this place. Some ideas need to die a quick and messy death.

Anyway, exciting news from the AVN Adult Entertainment Expo:

A “Bonecraft” computer game at the expo was pitched as a spoof on popular videogames “Starcraft” and “World of Warcraft.”

The game opens with drunken space soldiers crashing on a planet with troll-like “orcs” and Elvin women.

“The space Marines start fighting the orcs to get with the Elvin women,” said a ‘Bonecraft’ spokeswoman who gave her name only as Sarah. “The goal of the game is to have more sex with Elvin women.”

And what a fine goal that is! Starcraft II, meet my dusty shelf. It’s Bonecraft time!

  • Machete

    …the fuck?

  • http://www.quartertothree.com Tom Chick

    Yeah, no kidding. Everyone knows it’s “elven”. This will never fly.

  • Stephanie Pratt, Unlikely Voice of Reason

    57 words of original content. I think one of Mark’s teenagers must have decided to play professional writer. Remember to log out, Mark!

  • Anonymous

    sauce???

  • Machete

    This post is kind of not cool, and kind of NSFW. Is that really what you want on the front page?

  • Scharmers

    Oh my how offensive! (Waves hand briskly, suffers vapors)

  • http://dopefiend.telhajj.com Tim Elhajj

    That’s like Elvin Presley?

  • http://twitter.com/erez Erez Schatz

    This is a preposterous attempt at squeezing cheap readership, but the more interesting question is: where did you find that picture and why isn’t there a link to more?

  • unclean

    Okay, they come up with a great name like Bonecraft and then immediately waste all that creativity by having you bone elves? I’m not paying a cent until I can fuck a hyralisk.

  • http://twitter.com/kunikos Kunikos

    When did this page become FleshBot?

  • James Johnson

    Before reading past the title, I figured this had to do with Minecraft.

  • Karnisov

    chick in the picture looks like she fell down the steps.

  • http://bonecraft.org/ Vanessa

    It will be a great game :)