Monthly Archives: June 2008

Tom vs. Bruce: Unreal Tournament 2004 (rerun)

…the bots are doing lots of things a lot.

Comments Off

Rush Boom Turtle: Your guide to threesomes

It’s difficult to get all the parties to agree on the particulars. And then when it happens, there’s a lot of fumbling around, and it usually ends in resentment. Read Rush Boom Turtle #6.

Comments Off

Secret Agent Clank review

It’s like a Disney ride that stops every so often and makes you get out and ride another ride. Thumbs down.

Comments Off

Hot Shots Golf: Open Tee 2 review

Every time I play the 16th hole on South Alps, I’m reminded how awesome I am. Thumbs up.

Comments Off

Space Invaders Extreme and Arkanoid DS reviews

Believe it or not, I’m about to get super enthused about a Space Invaders remake and an ancient precursor to Peggle. Thumbs up.

Comments Off

Tom vs. Bruce: Civilization III Conquests (rerun)

Let’s give El Bruce a war on two fronts! To get France on board, I empty my treasury of 140 hard-earned gold, which I got by teaching heathen civilizations about stuff such as writing and money.

Comments Off

Lost Winds review

…it’s so natural, intuitive, and thematically consistent that I can’t help but wonder why someone hasn’t already done this. Why hasn’t Miyamoto thought of this? Thumbs up.

Comments Off

Blast Works review

There’s ultimately little to do beyond wriggling a bit on your inexorable trip from the left to the right. Thumbs down.

Comments Off

Metal Gear Solid 4 review

I cannot stress enough that this is a terrible, terrible game. Thumbs down.

Comments Off

Age of Conan “review”

Not really a review, but 10 reasons you shouldn’t bother playing Age of Conan. Thumbs down.

Comments Off

Tom vs. Bruce: Star Chamber (rerun)

My plants have serious political moxie.

Comments Off

GRID “review”

Well, not really a review, but 10 reasons you should be playing GRID. Thumbs up.

Comments Off

Incredible Hulk review

The destruction has a disappointing papier-mache feel. The environments are so primed to burst that Hulk brushing up against something has pretty much the same effect as him pounding it with two fists. As the giant green guy leaps like … Continue reading

Comments Off

My Life as a King review

Frankly, this isn’t much of a life for a king, much less a guy who likes city builders. It’s Jarmusch slow and overly gated. And that’s not what city builders or dungeon hacks are all about. That’s what JRPGs are … Continue reading

Comments Off

Quake Wars for the PS3 review

…even though it’s a faithful adaptation, it’s a technical disaster. The graphics are distilled down to a horrible, low-poly-count, ugly, washed-out morass. The special effects, from explosions to foliage to lighting, are almost bad enough to look like they were … Continue reading

Comments Off