Tom vs. Bruce: Unreal Tournament 2004 (rerun)
…the bots are doing lots of things a lot.
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Archive for June, 2008
Rush Boom Turtle: Your guide to threesomes
It’s difficult to get all the parties to agree on the particulars. And then when it happens, there’s a lot of fumbling around, and it usually ends in resentment.
Secret Agent Clank review
It’s like a Disney ride that stops every so often and makes you get out and ride another ride.
Hot Shots Golf: Open Tee 2 review
Every time I play the 16th hole on South Alps, I’m reminded how awesome I am.
Space Invaders Extreme and Arkanoid DS reviews
Believe it or not, I’m about to get super enthused about a Space Invaders remake and an ancient precursor to Peggle.
Tom vs. Bruce: Civilization III Conquests (rerun)
Lost Winds review
…it’s so natural, intuitive, and thematically consistent that I can’t help but wonder why someone hasn’t already done this. Why hasn’t Miyamoto thought of this?
Blast Works review
There’s ultimately little to do beyond wriggling a bit on your inexorable trip from the left to the right.
Metal Gear Solid 4 review
I cannot stress enough that this is a terrible, terrible game.
Age of Conan “review”
Not really a review, but 10 reasons you shouldn’t bother playing Age of Conan.
With Metal Gear Solid 4, Kojima gives his fans four boss battles and a wedding
If you’re a Metal Gear Solid fan, this review is not for you. Frankly, you don’t need a review. Metal Gear Solid 4 is between you, Hideo Kojima, and whatever bond the two of you have formed over the last ten years of Metal Gear games. I might as well come to your house, root around in your shoebox of old love letters, and comment on their grammar, punctuation, imagery, and literary merit.
After the jump, a review for everyone else. Continue reading →
Tom vs. Bruce: Star Chamber (rerun)
GRID “review”
Well, not really a review, but 10 reasons you should be playing GRID.
Incredible Hulk review
The destruction has a disappointing papier-mache feel. The environments are so primed to burst that Hulk brushing up against something has pretty much the same effect as him pounding it with two fists. As the giant green guy leaps like a pogo stick around the city or just runs through the waves of debris he creates everywhere he goes, the constant crush of vehicles, street lamps, and hot dog stands devolves into a steady drone.
My Life as a King review
Frankly, this isn’t much of a life for a king, much less a guy who likes city builders. It’s Jarmusch slow and overly gated. And that’s not what city builders or dungeon hacks are all about. That’s what JRPGs are about: lots of dialog and waiting and watching cutscenes.