|
Quake III Team Election 2000
by Tom Chick
|
Peter runs into the room. "Hey, I won that round! I kicked
all your asses. Whoop whoop whoop!" He raises both hands in
the air and runs a victory lap around a small point on the floor.
"We weren't playing anymore, Peter," Trevor says, "We've
been sitting here talking about how the weapons don't work."
"They seem to work for me. I shot all you guys." He is
still running his victory lap, making little ‘whoop’ sounds.
Trevor sighs. "It doesn't count if we're not moving. We weren't
playing any more. You were only able to shoot us because we were
standing still. Which is another thing about this game," Trevor
turns to me, "You can't shoot people very well when they're
moving."
Bobby comes into the room. "Are we gonna play Unreal Tournament?"
he asks. "I have to go home in a little bit to tape West Wing
for my wife."
"We have to keep playing Quake III," I say, "I have
to review this expansion pack."
"Oh, god, that's what you said that time we had to play that
Star Trek game," Bobby groans.
"I think I'm gonna be sick," Peter says, crouching over
and putting his hands on his knees.
"Because of the Star Trek game?"
"No, I made myself dizzy." Peter is easily the worst
player because he gets motion sickness from first person shooters,
so he can only play for a few minutes at a time. Now his victory
laps have made him nauseated.
"Quake III isn't that bad," I tell them. "Aren't
the graphics good?"
"Are there any better maps?" Jeremy asks, "You know,
like some boats or oil rigs or space ships or something? Maybe something
like Deck 16?"
"C'mon man, you can review Quake III on your own time,"
Trevor declares, " We're here for Shoot Club. Let's play Unreal
Tournament."
"It's not installed on all the computers. I had to take it
off the older one."
"You had to take Unreal Tournament off one of the machines?"
Trevor asks.
"Well, yeah, if we want to keep Giants and No One Lives Forever
on all of them. Those games are like a gig each. It's a tough call."
"But Unreal Tournament? That's like, I don't know what that's
like. That's like taking the wheels off your car." There is
a stunned silence. They're standing in a semi-circle around Trevor,
looking at me.
"But I have to review Quake III Team Arena. I had to install
it," I insist.
"What do you mean 'had to'?"
"I had to. It's an assignment. I have a deadline. The hard
drive was full."
"Are you sure you're committed to Shoot Club?"
"What?"
"Are you sure you're committed to Shoot Club? You're letting
your job interfere with Shoot Club. This isn't just a LAN party,
you know. It's a way of life."
"No it isn't. It's just a LAN party."
"I have to be at work at 8am. Do you see me whining about
having to get up in the morning? I stay late because I'm committed
to Shoot Club more than my job. And you want to know how committed
I am to Shoot Club? Let me tell you. Why do you think I haven't
had a date in more than a year? It's because of Shoot Club. I won't
let anything, not even chicks, interfere with Shoot Club."
Cont'd
|
